But never was a fight managed so hardily, and in such a surprising manner, as that which followed between Friday and the bear, which gave us all (though at first we were surprised and afraid for him) the greatest diversion imaginable. As the bear is a heavy, clumsy creature, and does not gallop as the wolf does, which is swift and light; so he has two particular qualities, which generally are the rule of his actions: first, as to men, who are not his proper prey, I say not his proper prey, because though I can’t say what excessive hunger might do, which was now their case, the ground being all covered with snow; yet as to men, he does not usually attempt them, unless they first attack him; on the contrary, if you meet him in the woods, if you don’t meddle with him, he won’t meddle with you; yet then you must take care to be very civil to him, and give him the road; for he is a very nice gentleman, he won’t go a step out of the way for a prince; nay, if you are really afraid, your best way is to look another way, and keep going on; for sometimes, if you stop, and stand still, and look steadfastly at him, he takes it for an affront; and if you throw or toss any thing at him, and it hits him, though it were but a bit of stick as big as your finger, he takes it for an affront, and sets all other business aside to pursue his revenge; for he will have satisfaction in point of honour, and this is his first quality; the next is, that if he be once affronted, he will never leave you, night or day, till he has his revenge, but follow at a good round rate till he overtakes you.
My man Friday had delivered our guide, and when we came up to him, he was helping him off from his horse; for the man was both hurt and frighted, and indeed the last more than the first; when, on a sudden, we espied the bear come out of the wood, and a very monstrous one it was, the biggest by far that ever I saw: we were all a little surprised when we saw him; but when Friday saw him, it was easy to see joy and courage in the fellow’s countenance: “O! O! O!” says Friday, three times, pointing to him, “O master! you give me te leave, me shakee te hand with him, me makee you good laugh.”
I was surprised to see the fellow so pleased: “You fool you,” said I, “he will eat you up.”—“Eatee me up! eatee me up!” says Friday, twice over again; “me eatee him up; me make you good laugh; you all stay here, me shew you good laugh.” So down he sits and gets his boots off in a moment, and put on a pair of pumps, (as we call the flat shoes they wear) and which he had in his pocket, and gives my other servant his horse, and with his gun away he flew, swift like the wind.
The bear was walking softly on, and offered to meddle with nobody, till Friday coming pretty near, calls to him, as if the bear could understand him: “Hark ye, hark ye,” says Friday, “me speakee wit you,” We followed at a distance; for now being come down to the Gascoigne side of the mountains, we were entered a vast great forest, where the country was plain, and pretty open, though many trees in it scattered here and there.
Friday, who had, as we say, the heels of the bear, came up with him quickly, and takes up a great stone, and throws at him, and hit him just on the head; but did him no more harm than if he had thrown it against a wall; but it answered Friday’s end; for the rogue was so void of fear, that he did it purely to make the bear follow him, and shew us some laugh, as he called it.
As soon as the bear felt the stone, and saw him, he turns about, and comes after him, taking devilish long strides, and strolling along at a strange rate, so as he would put a horse to a middling gallop. Away runs Friday, and takes his course, as if he ran towards us for help; so we all resolved to fire at once upon the bear, and deliver my man; though I was angry at him heartily for bringing the bear back upon us, when he was going about his own business another way; and especially I was angry that he had turned the bear upon us, and then run away; and I called out, “You dog,” said I, “is this your making us laugh? Come away, and take your horse, that we may shoot the creature.” He hears me, and cries out, “No shoot, no shoot, stand still, you get much laugh;” and as the nimble creature ran two feet for the beast’s one, he turned on a sudden, on one side of us, and seeing a great oak tree, fit for his purpose, he beckoned us to follow, and doubling his pace, he gets nimbly up the tree, laying his gun down upon the ground, at about five or six yards from the bottom of the tree.
The bear soon came to the tree, and we followed at a distance. The first thing he did, he stopped at the gun, smelt to it, but let it lie, and up he scrambles into the tree, climbing like a cat, though so monstrous heavy. I was amazed at the folly, as I thought it, of my man, and could not for my life see any thing to laugh at yet, till seeing the bear get up the tree, we all rode nearer to him.
When we came to the tree, there was Friday got out to the small of a large limb of the tree, and the bear got about half way to him. As soon as the bear got out to that part where the limb of the tree was weaker, “Ha,” says he to us, “now you see me teachee the bear dance;” so he falls a-jumping, and shaking the bough, at which the bear began to totter, but stood still, and began to look behind him, to see how he should get back; then indeed we did laugh heartily. But Friday had not done with him by a great deal: when he sees him stand still, he calls out to him again, as if he had supposed the bear could speak English, “What, you come no farther? Pray you come farther.” So he left jumping and shaking the bough; and the bear, just as if he understood what he said, did come a little farther; then he fell a-jumping again, and the bear stopped again.
We thought now was a good time to knock him on the head, and called to Friday to stand still, and we would shoot the bear; but he cried out earnestly, “O pray! O pray! no shoot, me shoot by and then;” he would have said by and by. However, to shorten the story, Friday danced so much, and the bear stood so ticklish, that we had laughing enough indeed, but still could not imagine what the fellow would do; for first we thought he depended upon shaking the bear off; and we found the bear was too cunning for that too; for he would not get out far enough to be thrown down, but clings fast with his great broad claws and feet, so that we could not imagine what would be the end of it, and where the jest would be at last.
But Friday put us out of doubt quickly; for seeing the bear cling fast to the bough, and that he would not be persuaded to come any farther; “Well, well,” said Friday, “you no come farther, me go, me go; you no come to me, me come to you;” and upon this he goes out to the smallest end of the bough, where it would bend with his weight, and gently lets himself down by it, sliding down the bough, till he came near enough to jump down on his feet; and away he ran to his gun, takes it up, and stands still.