PUNCH AND JUDY.
It is rarely that the police will disturb these street shows, unless that householders should prefer a complaint that they were annoyed, and then of course they are driven away. I have myself looked and listened for many an hour to these absurdly humorous shows, to Punch and Judy, the Dog, the Clown, and some negro characters selected for the exhibition. Usually there is a man, his wife, and a boy to collect the pennies thrown from windows or given by the crowd which assembles to witness the performance.
The man plays the pipes, fastened at his breast, and the drum with his elbow; and the woman keeps the figures in motion on the miniature stage, the back of which is hidden by a green curtain or tent, placed in the cart. Behind this screen the woman conceals herself and talks for the little automaton figures. There is a set dialogue in which the figures are supposed to converse, and as it is seldom changed, I give the following portion of a comedy of conversation, as that chiefly used for many years by the London Punch and Judy shows:
Enter Judy.
Punch. What a sweet creature! what a handsome nose and chin! (He pats Judy on the face lovingly.)
Judy. Keep quiet, do! (Slapping him wickedly.)
Punch. Don't be cross, my ducky, but give me a kiss.
Judy. Oh, to be sure, my love. (They embrace and kiss.)
Punch. Bless your sweet lips. (Hugging her.) These are melting moments. I'm very fond of my wife, I must have a dance.
Judy. Agreed. (Dancing.)
Punch. Get out of the way, you don't dance well enough for me. (Hits her on the nose.) Go and fetch the baby, and mind and take care of it and not hurt it. (Judy goes off.)
Judy. (Coming back with the baby.)
Take care of the baby while I go and cook the dumplings.
Punch. (Striking Judy with his hand.) Get out of the way! I'll take care of the baby (and Judy goes out).
Punch. (Sits down and sings to the baby.)
"Hush a-bye baby on the tree top,
When the wind blows the cradle will rock;
When the bough breaks the cradle will fall,
Down comes the baby, cradle and all."(The baby cries and Punch throws it up and down violently.)
Punch. What a cross child! I can't abear cross children. (Shakes the baby and pretends that he is about to kill it, and finally throws it out of the window.)
Enter Judy.
Judy. Where is the baby?
PUNCH IS EXECUTED.
Punch. (In a lemoncholy tone.) I have had a misfortune; the child was so terrible cross I throwed it out of the window, I did. (Lamentation of Judy for her dear child. She goes into asterisks, and then excites and fetches a cudgel, and commences beating Punch over the head.)
Punch. Don't be cross, my dear, I didn't go to do it.
Judy. I'll pay yer for a throwin' the child out of the winder. (She keeps a beatin him on the blessed head with the stick, but Punch snatches the stick away, and commences a smashin of her blessed head.)
Judy. (Screaming like hanythink.) I'll go to the Constable and have you locked up.
Punch. Go to the devil. I don't care where you go. Get out of the way. (Judy goes hoff, and Punch sings, "Par Excellence," or, "Ten Little Indians." N.B. All before is sentimental, but this here's comic. Punch goes through his roo-too-to-rooey, and in comes the Beadle hall in red.)
Then the "Clown" and "Jim Crow," the "Doctor," "Jack Ketch," the hangman, with various characters, follow each other in quick succession and enact their absurdities to the intense delight of the "juveniles," as the showman, in his printed book of the play calls the children. Punch is tried and convicted of murder, and being sentenced to death, is finally hung by Jack Ketch, at Newgate, as a punishment for his crimes, and is then placed in a coffin and given to be dissected.
All through these performances I have frequently noticed that the child spectators sympathized with Punch,—who is certainly a most notorious criminal if we are to judge by his actions on the stage of the Punch and Judy show,—and they always applauded when the Beadle got the worst of the fight.
It is a strange instinct, that which rises and glows in the breast of a child,—this resistance to the spirit or personification of authority.