I remembered that I had agreed with Brother Brigham and George A. Smith to stick to the mission so long as I lived; I remembered that Brother Smith talked to me about this mission, even after we had to shake him every few minutes to keep him awake, so that he would breathe by force of will. I was with him daily just before his death. Once he said to me that he would like to live to help in the Mexican mission.
Brother Brigham's letter directing me to go on to one of the spots where Israel would sooner or later gather, etc., would come to my mind. Again, I remembered that Brother Brigham had told me that during my mission there would be times when I would seemingly be surrounded with a high, strong stone wall, and in which there would appear no opening. "But," said he, "don't kick at it for you will only make your toes sore. Be faithful and in time it will be removed."
It now occurred to me that I had forgotten the counsel not to kick, for I had been kicking at this very wall, and had got my toes terribly broken. I made up my mind to try and quit.
Finally the spirit and desire became so strong to visit Mexico that I could not resist the feeling. My children needed what we had left for their support, so I made up my mind that I would go if I had to make the trip on foot. At this time the land committee was working in Mexico. I often met some of them, but all seemed to avoid receiving any information from me. This was not at all strange for I knew that I was looked upon as rebellious, as my side of the story had never been heard.
About the time that I was thinking of starting, there was an old miner from Utah came to my house with a good traveling outfit, and wished to go to Mexico. He offered to take me through if I would furnish a certain amount of horse feed and provisions and assist him as interpreter in getting through the custom house, and get him introduced to some of the mine owners in Mexico.
I had heard some little about this man and had met him many years past in Utah. He made me such fair offers that I concluded to go along with him. As the most that I cared for was to get to Mexico with my saddler's tools. With them I knew I would be safe for expenses at any rate. My main desire was to get to the district of country and see what shape the spot was in that Brother Brigham had approved.
While in Provo one time Brother Brigham, in presence of Brother Cannon and others, took a map and motioning his finger around over the map settled onto this very place and said, "Here is a gathering place for the Saints."
I knew the place but had never pointed it out to Brother Brigham. I had never been on the land but had been within a few miles of it and had heard a full description of the place. Knowing the desire was to get land in Mexico I naturally supposed that now was the time to get this place secured provided it was for sale. So I determined to go and find out and at the same time put myself in the way of giving such information as I had formerly obtained while in Mexico.
I had heard that the committee were trying to get lands from the government or land companies which amounted to the same. This I fully believed would fail having faith in the report given us while on our mission to Mexico by the old governor and accepted by President Young. Also knowing that the re-surveying of the country would make but slight difference in the conditions, having all this before me I hoped to go down and be of some use.
The trip through was made without any accident occurring worth mentioning. My companion seemed wholy absorbed in mining speculations, something I had never taken any interest in nor wished to. When we arrived at Ascencion, I found quite a number of our people camped there. Some of them had been on the ground for some time, waiting for the land purchase to be made.