On the evening of Tuesday Sept. 29, as he lay on his bed, he seemed to be in an extraordinary frame; his mind greatly engaged in sweet meditations concerning the prosperity of Zion. There being present here, at that time, two young gentlemen of his acquaintance, who were candidates for the ministry, he desired us all to unite in singing a psalm on that subject, even Zion’s prosperity. And on his desire we sung a part of the 102d psalm. This seemed much to refresh and revive him, and gave him new strength; so that though before, he could scarcely speak at all, now he proceeded, with some freedom of speech, to give his dying counsels to these young gentlemen relative to their preparation for the great work of the ministry; and in particular, earnestly recommended to them frequent secret fasting and prayer; and enforced his counsel with regard to this, from his own experience of the great comfort and benefit of it; “which,” said he, “I should not mention, were it not that I am a dying person.” After he had finished his counsel, he made a prayer in the audience of us all; wherein, besides praying for this family, for his brethren, and those candidates for the ministry, and for his own congregation, he earnestly prayed for the reviving and flourishing of religion in the world.—Till now, he had every day sat up part of the day; but after this he never rose from his bed.
Sept. 30.—“I was obliged to keep my bed the whole day, through weakness. However, redeemed a little time, and, with the help of my brother, read and corrected about a dozen pages in my manuscript, giving an account of my conversion.
Oct. 1.—“I endeavored again to do something by way of writing, but soon found my powers of body and mind utterly fail. Felt not so sweetly as when I was able to do something which I hoped would do some good. In the evening, was discomposed and wholly delirious; but it was not long before God was pleased to give me some sleep, and fully compose my mind.[[M]] O blessed be God for his great goodness to me, since I was so low at Mr. Bloomfield’s on Thursday, June 18. He has, except those few minutes, given me the clear exercise of my reason, and enabled me to labor much for him in things both of a public and private nature, and perhaps to do more good than I should have done if I had been well; besides the comfortable influences of his blessed Spirit, with which he has been pleased to refresh my soul. May his name have all the glory for ever and ever. Amen.
[M]. From this time forward he had the free use of his reason till the day before his death; except that at some times he appeared a little lost for a moment when first waking out of sleep.
Oct. 2.—“My soul was this day, at turns, sweetly set on God: I longed to be with him, that I might behold his glory. I felt sweetly disposed to commit all to him, even my dearest friends, my dearest flock, my absent brother, and all my concerns for time and eternity. O that his kingdom might come in the world; that they might all love and glorify him for what he is in himself; and that the blessed Redeemer might ‘see of the travail of his soul, and be satisfied!’ O come, Lord Jesus, come quickly! Amen.”
Here ends his diary. These are the last words which are written in it, either by his own hand, or by any other from his mouth.
The next evening we very much expected his brother John from New-Jersey; it being about a week after the time that he proposed for his return, when he went away. Though our expectations were still disappointed, yet Brainerd seemed to continued unmoved, in the same calm and peaceful frame which he had before manifested; as having resigned all to God, and having done with his friends, and with all things here below.
On the morning of the next day, being Lord’s day, Oct. 4, as my daughter Jerusha, who chiefly attended him, came into the room, he looked on her very pleasantly, and said, “Dear Jerusha, are you willing to part with me?”—“I am quite willing to part with you: I am willing to part with all my friends: I am willing to part with my dear brother John, although I love him the best of any creature living: I have committed him and all my friends to God, and can leave them with God. Though, if I thought I should not see you, and be happy with you in another world, I could not bear to part with you. But we shall spend an happy eternity together!”[[N]] In the evening, as one came into the room with a Bible in her hand, he expressed himself thus: “O that dear book—that lovely book! I shall soon see it opened! The mysteries that are in it, and the mysteries of God’s providence, will be all unfolded!”
[N]. In about four months, it pleased a holy and sovereign God to take away this my dear child by death, on the 14th of February, after a short illness of five days, in the eighteenth year of her age. She was a person of much the same spirit with Brainerd. She had constantly taken care of, and attended him in his sickness, for nineteen weeks before his death; devoting herself to him with great delight, because she looked on him as an eminent servant of Jesus Christ. In this time he had much conversation with her on the things of religion; and in his dying state, often expressed to us, her parents, his great satisfaction concerning her true piety, and his confidence that he should meet her in heaven. She had manifested a heart uncommonly devoted to God; and said on her death-bed, that “she had seen no time for several years, when she desired to live one minute longer, for the sake of any other good in life, but doing good, living to God, and doing what might be for his glory.”
On Tuesday, Oct. 6, he lay for a considerable time as if he were dying; at which time he was heard to utter, in broken whispers, such expressions as these: “He will come, he will not tarry. I shall soon be in glory. I shall soon glorify God with the angels.”—But after some time he revived.