‘Lacy tewle!’ said Darco, ‘give me the script. I haf been thinking of somethings.’
How Darco worked, stormed, domineered in the ensuing month, nobody outside the limits of the Congreve knew. He appalled the timid and maddened the courageous. He was up all night for half a week together, seeming to live with a teaspoon in one hand and a tin of some nutritive meat essence in the other, and always administering doses to himself as if he were a patient in danger of imminent exhaustion.
Mr. Warr was here, under solemn articles not once to varnish the work of art until the run of the piece was over.
‘A dreadful circumstance, truly, Mr. Armstrong,’ he complained. ‘I am deprived of the consolation of one device which has hitherto upheld me at such times of trial. The piece might run, sir, for a year; it might even run for two. There is no looking forward to a definite date of relief, sir. It is like being imprisoned at Her Majesty’s pleasure. A painful prospect, Mr. Armstrong—-a period of unassuaged incertitude, sir.’ Daroo burst down upon him like a stormy wind.
‘Don’t stand jattering there. Co ant do somethings.’
‘I have nothing at this moment which calls for my attention, I do assure you, Mr. Darco.’
‘Then find somethings. There is always blenty for efery-boty to do about a theadre.’
Mr. Warr drifted before the storm, and found a harbour in the painting-room, whence he was blasted five minutes later half shipwrecked and wholly demoralized. But Darco was a general who could spare his forces, and three days before the play was announced for production he addressed his army:
‘Laties and chentlemen, I nefer pelieve in worrying peoples. You haf all done noply. Tomorrow there will be no call. Next day at eleven sharp, eferything as at the broduction. Then it will debend upon yourselves whether you are galled upon to rehearse again or no.’
With this all engaged dispersed well pleased, and Darco announced his intention of dining and going to bed. He ordered dinner for two, and ate his double portion through seven courses, after which he went tranquilly home to his hotel and slept the clock round.