"Swingin round the cirkle"

by David Ross Locke

Deacon McGrath

Wuz eggsamined. Wuz convinst in his own mind that the Afrikin wuz now out uv his normal speer, and that the infernal Burow wuz at the bottom uv it. The nigger, afore the Burow come around, wuz docile and easly controlled. His boy Joe wuz wunst a model nigger. He’d get up every mornin at 4 A.M. (wich means in the mornin), and work every day till after dark. Ez soon ez he wuz emancipated, ez they called it, and the Burow come, I told him to get up, one mornin; and he told me, impudently, that he’d concluded he woodent. I undertook to chastise him with a fence stake, whereupon he sailed in, and whaled me; and the Burow, to which I applied for redress, larft in my face. He left, and is now draggin out a mizerable existence in Ohio, on the beggarly pittance uv two dollars a day, and my farm is runnin to weeds. He conclooded by givin it ez his solemn opinion that he never cood be reconciled to the Government so long ez the Burow wuz tolerated, and that Ablishnist held the Post Orifis at the Corners.

Gineral Dinges

Considered the Burow a inkubus upon the State. It interfered between master and servant. Cood git along better ef the nigger wuz left to the nateral laws wich regulates capital and labor. Tried to keep his niggers, and did keep em the past summer till after the crop wuz in, and then tried to settle with em for four dollars a month, with sich deductions for food, sickness, and brakin tools, et settry, ez wuz just. Brought the niggers, all uv em, in my debt, and generously proposed to let em work it out choppin cord wood doorin the winter. Hauled me up afore the Burow, and wuz forst to pay em each $15 per month. Consider the Burow ez all that stands in the way uv rekonstruction, though the removal uv the Ablishun Postmaster at the Corners and the appintment uv a sound constooshnel Dimekrat wood grately assist in conciliatin the Kentucky mind.

I tried to get some nigger testimony, but cood elicit nothing worth while. One nigger, who spends the heft uv his time at the Corners, wuz opposed to the Burow becoz it stopt rations on him. And Lucy, a octoroon, who formerly belonged to, and still resides with, Elder Gavitt (who is now absent ez a delegate to a Southern religious convention at Louisville), testified that the Burow “wuz no grate shakes,” becoz bein ez the Elder wuz a widower, and the father uv all her children, and bein she’s a free woman, she askt the agent to make the Elder marry her, and he woodn’t do it. But sich evidence is irrelevant, and I didn’t consider it worth while botherin yoor Eggslency with it. Both, however, strongly insisted on the removal uv the Ablishun Postmaster at the Corners.

Abslum Pettus

Wuz convinst the Burow wuz agin the prosperity uv the State, and wuz underminin the moral and physikle welfare uv the nigger. It made him impudent. Hed sum uv em workin for him, and notist at noons and nites he’d find em with a spellin-book and a reader. Didn’t bleeve in readin. Coodent read hisself, but hed a cousin wunst who learned; but ez soon ez he cood read he moved off to Injeanny, quit the Democrisy, and becum a loathsum Ablishnist. Heerd he wuz killed in the war, and served him rite. Wanted to know what we wood do when the niggers cood all read. Sposed we’d hev to ’lect em to offis, ez the people alluz selected sich, when they cood find em. Didn’t bleeve in nigger equality, and wuz in favor uv a imediate change in the post orfice at the Corners.

Captin McSlather thought things hed cum to a sweet old pass, when a man coodn’t lather a nigger without bein hauled up afore a Burow.

Kurnel Pelter thought ef yoor Eggsolency cood witness the corupshun that eggsisted in the Burow, yoo’d make short work uv it. Why, he whipped a nigger hand more than he ought, perhaps, and he died uv the injuries. It wuz a aggravatin case. The nigger wuz sassy, and it cost three hundred and sixteen dollars to pervide for his family. That infamous Burow made me pay for their rashens all winter. He asked, indignantly, ef this wuz or wuz not a free kentry into, wich such things wuz permitted. And the Ablishen Postmaster at the Corners approved the tyranikle action. He demanded his removal.

I conceive it to be onnecessary to submit further testimony. I know not what luck yoor other commissioners may hev met with in takin testimony on this subjick; but in this vicinity there can’t be no doubt that there can’t be that love for the Government, without wich free instooshens won’t flourish to any alarmin extent, ontil this monster is squelched. The testimony is unanimous, and them ez I hev eggsamined are representative men.