“Let him ascend to the top of Sawyer’s Observatory, and from thence look down upon the grounds, even as Moses of old looked down from Nebo’s Height upon the Holy Land.”
Yes, reader, it seems almost beyond belief that the lion-hearted solicitor should have been forgotten. That the city managed to worry along for six months without his supervision, is one of those mysterious chances which may only be explained when the light of history and careful, unprejudiced investigation shall, in the far distant future, illuminate the cobwebbed darkness of ages long then past.
As Bardsley suggested, so was it done. A committee was appointed with power to act, and at high noon one clear, bright day, while special thanksgiving services were being chanted in all the churches, the General’s congealed form was hauled out of a wagon, with golden ice nippers, and landed safely on the flag pavement of Independence Hall. A gentle fire of rosewood shavings and sweet cacia wood was built around him, and he was gradually and tenderly thawed out. The coat of ice melted away; the stern features relaxed, the water dripped from all portions of the herculean frame, the fog, mist, and steam generated by the process cleared away, and
Charlie was himself again.
While he was still receiving the congratulations of his friends, the contractors who were required to remove the buildings approached, and publicly offered him one hundred thousand dollars to remain in his own dwelling until the close of the exhibition and then go out to the grounds and cause a final crash. This, of course, would save them immense time, labor, and expenditure. With the dignity of THE CÆSAR
OF THE AGE.Cæsar on the Lupercal, he drew his form to its full height, and casting one look of disdain upon the contractors, who instantaneously disappeared beneath the flagging to rise no more, he walked slowly up Chestnut Street, followed by the plaudits of an enthusiastic mob.
The Awards of the Judges,
though of immense importance, are of especial interest only to the exhibitors. Others desirous of posting themselves on this point, are referred to the musty, fusty rows of figures and statistics which will soon flood the American rag market. Two cents a pound is not an exorbitant price for information which is at all desirable. From the list of nine hundred and eight foreign and domestic judges, we will merely select the following familiar names:—Ludlow, Thayer, Biddle, Dwight, Paxson, Hackett, Cardoza, and Finletter; Dr. Mary Walker, Prof. Proctor, Stephen Pearl Andrews, Bret Harte, Lydia Thompson, Wm. Gladstone, Elwood Rowan, Gen. Garibaldi, Susan B. Anthony, and the Marquis of Lorne.
As the style of report was similar in all cases, an example will give a general idea of the plan adopted. The scriptural quotations were altered to suit each instance.
The only squabble among the judges was concerning the report on American fried oysters. Councilman Rowan and Premier Gladstone indulged in some marked personalities. They might have come to blows but for the prompt intervention of Miss Lydia Thompson and her little cowhide. She cornered the belligerents. Mr. Gladstone apologized to our distinguished councilman over a dish of the matter in dispute, and they compromised on two gold medals and an honorable mention.
And now—AN END TO
EVERYTHING.