When is coffee like the soil? When it is ground.
Why are soldier’s guns always safe? Because every one of them has a lock.
When is a man not a man? When he’s a shaving.
Why is a man who is fond of his cigars like a tallow candle? Because he will smoke when he is going out.
When is a schoolmaster like a man with one eye? When he has a vacancy for a pupil.
Why is it dangerous to take a nap in a train? Because the cars invariably run over sleepers.
What instrument of war does an angry lover resemble? A cross bow.
My first is a vehicle, my second is a preposition, and my whole is part of a ship. Cab-in.
What grows bigger the more you contract it? Debt.
What tricks are most common among New York policemen? Patricks.