Why is a railroad exceedingly patriotic? It is bound to the country with the strongest ties.
What is the most wonderful acrobatic feat? For a man to revolve in his own mind.
Why is chloroform like Mendelssohn? Because it is the greatest of modern composers.
Do women like to see themselves in print? No; they prefer silk or satin.
Why are bookkeepers like chickens? Because they have to scratch for a living.
Who is the man who invariably finds things dull? The scissors grinder.
Why is the first chicken of a brood like the mainmast of a ship? Because it’s a little ahead of the main hatch.
Why is a book your best friend and companion? Because when it bores you, you can shut it up without giving offense.
Why is a man in front of a crowd well supported? Because he has the press at his back.
What sort of men are most above board in their movements? Chessmen.