To punish her John went to sleep without giving her the usual good-night kiss.
“He’d have been cross, anyhow,” was all the thought she gave that part of the circumstance. Could John Hunter have known that the absence of that kiss was a relief, and that he made of his presence sometimes an intolerable nightmare, he might have saved for himself a corner in her tired heart against the days to come. John’s zeal and passion had gone into the pursuit of their courtship days. Now they were married, possession was a fact: Elizabeth was his wife.
Elizabeth understood that John was whimsical and tyrannical, but not intentionally evil, but in spite of the fact that she had John’s character summed up and understood that much that he did was not deliberately intended to do her injury, that little of it was in fact, she felt a growing disinclination for his presence. The unloved, undesired child which she had lost was a warning guidepost pointing its finger away from a continuance of marital relations. No conditions could make it right for her to have another child till love again existed between them. She saw that nothing could excuse or make decent the child of wornout conditions; nothing but affection made marriage worthy, and when that affection had departed from a man and woman, to thrust life upon a child was a crime against that child, a crime against nature and a crime against themselves and society; yet, what could she do? Her health was broken, and she without means of support. After Aunt Susan’s death the girl had seriously considered separation; she still considered it, but not seriously. Though she cried “Fool! fool!” many times, she had given her youth, her health, her strength to John Hunter, and her wages—food and clothing—she must accept.
CHAPTER XX
THE CREAM-JARS OF HER LIFE
While Elizabeth progressed toward health the work on the Hunter farm progressed also. Because of taking the cattle to Mitchell County it was possible to get in a greater acreage of small grain and corn. Patsie had a small colt at her side, as did her mate also, and there was an extra man needed in the field most of the time, but after repeated consultations it was decided that by using care the teams they had would be able to plow the corn, and that they could hire help for the harvesting cheaper than they could buy another pair of horses.
However, in spite of the discussions which were supposed to have settled the matter, John came home from Colebyville one Saturday with a new team.
“What do you think of them?” he asked Hugh, who opened the gate to let him into the barnyard. “I just made up my mind that it wasn’t economy to push the horses we had so hard. I got them at a bargain.”