Les Bijoux Indiscrets, or, The Indiscreet Toys

by Denis Diderot

Selim listened attentively to this discourse, examined the countenance of his mistress, and in its motions sought that character of truth, in which a person is not deceived, and which is impossible to counterfeit well: when I say impossible, I mean to us men: for Fulvia was so perfectly composed, that Selim began to blame himself for having suspected her, when Mangogul entered the room. Fulvia was silent in an instant, Selim trembled; and the Toy said: "In vain does my lady make pilgrimages to all the Pagoda's of Congo, she will have no children; for reasons well known to me, who am her Toy.——"

At this declaration a deadly paleness seized Selim: he attempted to rise, but his trembling knees failed him, and he fell back into his seat. The invisible Sultan step'd up to him, and whispered in his ear: "Have you enough?" "Alas! Prince," replied the melancholic Selim, "why did I not follow the advice of Mirzoza; and the misgivings of my own heart? My happiness is eclipsed, I am a lost man: I die, if her Toy does not speak; if it does, I am a dead man: let it speak out however. I expect frightful intelligences; but I fear them less than I hate the state of perplexity, in which I am.——"

In the mean time Fulvia's first motion was to put her hand on her Toy, and to shut its mouth: what it had hitherto said, might bear a favorable interpretation: but she dreaded the sequel. As she began to take courage on account of its remaining silent, the Sultan, urged by Selim, turned his ring: Fulvia was obliged to spread her fingers, and the Toy went on.

"I will never hold, I am too much harassed. The too assiduous visits of so many holy men will always obstruct my intentions, and madam will not have any children. If I had been regaled by none but Selim, I might possibly prove fruitful: but I lead the life of a gally-slave. This day fatigued by one, to morrow by another; and always at the oar. The last man which Fulvia sees, is always the person, whom she believes destined by heaven to perpetuate her race. None can be safe from this fancy. O how tiresome is the condition of the Toy of a titled lady, who has no heirs! These ten years past, I am exposed to people, who were not made even to lift their eyes up to me."

Here Mangogul was of opinion that Selim had heard enough, to cure him of his perplexity: wherefore he exempted him from the remaining part, turned off his ring, and went away, abandoning Fulvia to the reproaches of her lover.

At first the miserable Selim was petrified: but his fury giving him strength and speech, he darted a scornful look on his unfaithful mistress, and said: "Ingrateful, perfidious woman, if I loved you still, I would take revenge: but as you are unworthy of my affection, so you are likewise of my wrath. A man like me, Selim to be mixed with a pack of scoundrels.——"

"Truly," interrupted Fulvia smartly, in the strain of an unmasked courtisan, "it much becomes you to give yourself airs for a trifle: instead of thanking me for concealing matters from you, which would have made you mad at the time of their transacting; you take fire, you fly into a rage, as if you had been injured. And pray, Sir, what reason can you have for preferring yourself to Rickel, to Seton, to Mollio, to Tachmas, to the most amiable cavaliers of the court, from whom their mistresses won't be at the pains even of cloaking the slips they make. Consider, Selim, that you are exhausted, infirm, and long incapable of engrossing a pretty woman, who is not a fool. Acknowledge then, that your presumption is ill-timed, and your rage impertinent. Infine you may, if you are dissatisfied, leave the field open to others, who will make better use of it." "So I do, and most heartily," replied Selim with excessive indignation: and went away, fully resolved never more to see that woman.

He went home, and shut himself up for some days, less grieved for his loss, than for his long error. Not his heart, but his vanity suffered. He dreaded the reproches of the favorite, and the jokes of the Sultan; and he shun'd the one and the other.

He was upon the point of resolving to renounce the court, to go into retirement, and turn philosopher for the remaining part of a life, of which he had thrown away a great part in quality of a courtier; when Mirzoza, who guess'd his thoughts, undertook to comfort him, sent for him to the Seraglio, and made him this speech. "Well, my poor Selim, then you abandon me? 'Tis not Fulvia, it is me that you punish for her infidelity. We are all concerned for your adventure, we agree that it is vexatious: but if you set any value on the Sultan's protection and my esteem, you will continue to enliven our company, and you will forget that Fulvia, who never was worthy of a man like you."

"Madam," answered Selim, "age admonishes me that it is high time for me to retire. I have sufficiently seen the world; and four days ago I would have boasted that I knew it. But Fulvia's stroak confounds me. Women are indefinable, and I should hate them all, if you had not been included in the sex, of which you have all the charms. May Brama grant, that you never imbibe their perverseness. Farewell, madam, I am going to give myself up to useful reflections in solitude. The remembrance of the favours, with which you and the Sultan have honoured me, will follow me thither; and if my heart forms any vows henceforth, they will be for your happiness and his glory."