An official at the railway station of whom she inquired after a hotel recommended the “Hanover.” Here she obtained a comfortable room and after satisfying her hunger she sat down by its window in the dark to think out a plan of action for the following day.
She sat for a long time looking out on to the brilliantly lit avenue with its display of the city’s night life and wondered what place she could fill in it. It was a new world to her—a bewildering world—even a terrifying world. She must now mix in it—play her part in it unprepared and unaided. Her heart sank at the thought. And this was what was meant by life! This was what thousands of girls had to face! Well, she would face it, too, and do her best. If others could succeed, why not she? And if she failed—but she would not think of that. She would not, must not fail. She would begin by going to an employment agency and offer herself for a position as governess. She knew French, German and English—these were not common accomplishments and, surely, they were wanted and would be paid for!
But what a change from her life in Roumelia! Ah, beloved Roumelia! She pictured the Rosen’s home in Padina—the last real home she had known. It brought Morton back to her mind. Involuntarily, she closed her eyes to the lights without, so that she could be alone with her image. Had he meant all that was implied in his last words? Or had he but used similar words to her that he had spoken to other girls he knew? No, no, no, she could not believe that. He was not that kind of a man. Her father had said of him that he was true and noble, and her father, a wise man and of great experience, knew men well. It was wrong in her to doubt him.
“I must leave the rest,” she whispered softly, “in God’s good hands. Until, then, good-bye, my knight.”
Thus, greatly encouraged and with a mind calmed and at rest, she lay down and slept the happy sleep of those who feel they are loved.
CHAPTER XXI
TRUE to her resolve, Helène called the next morning at the “Agentur für Gouvernanten,” the address of which she found in a directory at the hotel. The experience was a disappointing one. The official gave her a form to fill out for her name, address, accomplishments and references. The registration fee was six marks, payable in advance.
As she had no references to give, since she did not wish any of her friends to know where she was, she filled in the form without the references.