“The ghost of Crooked Nose went into an
oyster,
The oyster caught his slayer by the foot
To drown, drown, drown him in the sea!”
But it didn't work. The world had seen that oyster, and had recognized it for an oyster.
“Oyster! Oyster! Oyster!” cried the crowd sternly at Big Mouth.
The bard tried to persevere, but Slightly Simian, feeling the crowd with him, advanced menacingly and said:
“See here, Big Mouth, we know a ghost when we see one, and we know an oyster! Yon animal is an oyster! You sing that it is an oyster, or shut up!”
“Ghost, ghost, ghost,” chanted Big Mouth, tentatively. But he got no farther. Slightly Simian killed him with a club, and the matter was settled. Literary criticism was direct, straightforward, and effective in those days.
“But, oh, ye gods of the water, what an oyster!” cried Mrs. Slightly Simian.