This guard was changed every week——a strong mark of the suspicious and wary tempers of those people, who could fear intrigues and cabals between wretched prisoners like us and their soldiers.
In two or three days after this, Hyat Sahib sent for me, treated me with great kindness, gave me some tea, and furnished me with two or three shirts, an old coat, and two pairs of breeches, which were stripped from the dead bodies that were thrown ashore from the wrecks——every thing that was saved from it being sent to Bidanore. At this interview he treated me with great respect——gave me, besides the articles already mentioned, thirty rupees——and, upon my going away, told me that in a few days a very flattering proposal would be made to me, and that my situation would be rendered not only comfortable, but enviable.
It is impossible for me to express to you, my dear Frederick! the horror I felt at the idea of this intended proposal——for I knew but too well what it meant. It was the source of bitter misery to my mind: nevertheless, I determined to resist every effort that should be made, whether blandishment, intreaty, or menace——to lay down my life itself, though in obscurity, with honour——and to carry along with me, go where I would, the consciousness of having done my duty.
I have in the course of my life met with many people, who, under the plausible pretext of liberality and greatness of mind, have called themselves Citizens of the World, and declared that the Country where they lived, be that what Country it might, was their’s, and demanded their allegiance and protection: but I have always shrewdly suspected, that such men act from a consciousness of being outcasts of their own Country——and, scorned and rejected by their fellow-citizens, would retaliate by affecting to deny their natural attachment. There are men who neither love father, mother, sister, brother, or connection: such, however, are, thank God! very thinly sown in this world; but, except it be a few such unnatural people, I am convinced that there is no one whose heart does not confess the patriotic passion, and burn with a flame, more or less ardent, of love for his Country. My predilections that way are naturally strong, and I am now happy to reflect that I evinced them by the most unequivocal proofs: had I not, I were indeed, in my own opinion, fit for any punishment, however ignominious; and to all such as lift their arms against their Country, as to Parricides, I will say, in the words of the Poet,
“Never pray more—abandon all remorse:
On horror’s head, horrors accumulate;
Do deeds to make Heaven weep—all earth amaz’d;
For nothing can’st thou to damnation add,
Greater than that.”