Projects and hopes of a new kind now began to intrude themselves on my thoughts; and I conceived a design, which I flattered myself was not entirely impracticable, to effect an escape, and even a revolt in the place. A variety of circumstances concurred to persuade me, that the tyranny of Hyder, and his servant Hyat Sahib, was abhorred, though none dared to give vent to their sentiments. I thought I could observe that the native prisoner opposite to me was privately beloved, and might, from the recollection of his former dignities, have considerable influence in the place. Several Arcot Sepoys and their Officers (some of them belonging to my own regiment) were also prisoners at large; and withal I recollected, that difficulties apparently more stupendous had been overcome by Englishmen——having often heard it asserted, that there was not a prison in the known world out of which a British subject had not made his escape.
Fraught with those conceptions, I attempted to sound the Officers of the Arcot Sepoys, whether it were not possible for us to effect our escape? So ardent is the flame of Liberty in all men’s breasts, so great is the detestation of human nature to Slavery, that I perceived a manifest willingness in the people about us to join me in an attempt to procure our liberty, or bring about a revolt in the garrison. My heart beat high with the hope; and I began to flatter myself, that the day was not far removed when we should not only bid defiance to our tyrants, but even make them repent the day on which we were cast ashore on their coast.
Having thus distantly sounded all who I thought were likely to concur, upon the practicability of the attempt, and found them, as I conceived, disposed to take share in it, it yet remained to consider of the quomodo——and, after having formed the general outlines of a plan, to lick it into shape. The first of these was a critical consideration: the second required address and management, and was likely to be impeded by the vigilance of the people about, who would not fail to remark, and take the alarm, from any unusual intercourse or discourse between us; and without a mutual communication of thoughts, and full deliberation by all parties concerned, as well as knowledge of the fort and its different gates, nothing could, with any prospect of success, be determined——nothing, without the most imminent hazard, be attempted. I therefore held various councils with my own mind, and with Mr. Hall, on the subject——most of which were abortive, without at all discouraging us.
At last I began to think of sounding the Bidanore prisoner, ci-devant Governor of the place; and determined, if possible, to bring him into our consultations, as I had before hoped to make him a party in the execution of the project: but while I was settling all this much to my own satisfaction, an event occurred which extinguished all my hopes in that way——of which you shall have an account in my next Letter.
LETTER LIII.
Whether the plan which I mentioned in my last was discovered or not, or from what other motive it arose, I have not to this day been able to decide; but so it was, that while my sanguine mind was overflowing with the hope of carrying my project for an escape into effect, Mr. Hall and I were one day unexpectedly loaded with irons, and fastened together, leg by leg, by one bolt. This, as nearly as I can compute, was four or five months before my release. Of all the circumstances of my life, it has made the strongest impression upon my mind: it unexpectedly and suddenly broke down the most pleasing fabric my imagination had ever built. The surprise occasioned by the appearance of the irons, and the precautionary manner in which it was undertaken, was indeed great: still more was I surprised to observe, that the person who was employed to see this put in execution, manifested unusual emotions, seemed much affected, and even shed tears as he looked on: and while the suddenness and cautionary mode of doing it convinced me that some resistance on our part was apprehended, the sorrow which the Officer who superintended it disclosed, portended in my mind a fatal, or at least a very serious issue.
Unfortunately, poor Mr. Hall had for some time been afflicted with a return of his dreadful disorder, the dysentery; and our being shackled together increased an unconquerable mortification of feelings which he had before undergone, from a delicacy of nature that would have done honour to the most modest virgin, be her sensibility ever so exquisite, or her delicacy ever so extreme——And here, my dear Frederick! I cannot let slip this opportunity of remarking to you, that the man, as well as the woman, who would render himself truly amiable in the eyes of his fellow-creatures, should cultivate delicacy and modesty, as the most captivating of all the moral virtues: from them, heroism derives additional lustre——wit, ten-fold force——religion and morality, the charms of persuasion——and every personal action of the man, irresistible dignity and winning grace. From this unlucky event, I received a temporary depression; and the rapidly increasing illness of poor Hall rendered my situation more than ever calamitous; when, again, my spirits, eagerly prone to grasp at every thing that gave a momentary hope of support, were a little recruited by confused rumours of the English army having made a descent on the Malabar coast: and so powerful is the influence of mind on the animal system, that Mr. Hall enjoyed from the report a momentary alleviation of his malady; but, having no medical assistance, nor even sufficient sustenance to further the favourable operations of Nature, he relapsed again; the disease fell upon him with redoubled fury: a very scanty portion of boiled rice, with a more scanty morsel of stinking salt fish or putrid flesh, was a very inadequate support for me, who, though emaciated, was in health——and very improper medicine for a person labouring under a malady such as Mr. Hall’s, which required comfort, good medical skill, and delicate nutritious food. The tea which Hyat Sahib had given me was expended; and we were not allowed to be shaved from the hour we were put in irons, an indulgence of that kind being forbidden by the barbarous rules of the prison: and, to refine upon our tortures, sleep, “the balm of hurt minds,” was not allowed us uninterrupted; for, in conformity to another regulation, we were disturbed every half hour by a noise something resembling a watchman’s rattle, and a fellow who, striking every part of our irons with a kind of hammer, and examining them lest they should be cut, broke in upon that kind restorative, and awoke our souls to fresh horrors.
As it must be much more naturally matter of astonishment that any bodily strength could support itself under such complicated calamities, than that infirmity should sink beneath them, you will be rather grieved than surprised to hear that poor Mr. Hall was now approaching to his end with hourly accelerated steps. Every application that I made in his favour was refused, or rather treated with cruel neglect and contemptuous silence; and I foresaw, with inexpressible anguish and indignation, that, the barbarians would not abate him in his last minutes one jot of misery, and that my most amiable friend was fated to expire under every attendant horror that mere sublunary circumstances could create. But that pity which the mighty, the powerful and enlightened denied, natural benevolence operating upon an uninformed mind, and scanty means, afforded us. Hyat Sahib, the powerful, the wealthy, the Governor of a great and opulent province, refused to an expiring fellow-creature a little cheap relief——while a poor Sepoy taxed his little means to supply it: one who guarded us, of his own accord, at hazard of imminent punishment, purchased us a lamp and a little oil, which we burned for the last few nights.