For a moment there was no answer.
Then all of a sudden the sluice-gate of speech was pulled up.
"Oh, Jill, Jill, Jill… I could go on saying your name for the rest of my life! I say it all the way home. I say it as I'm going to sleep. I say it when I wake in the morning… I saw you first at Biarritz. You never knew. I was staying with some Italian people. They've got a place there. And I was alone in the grounds. And then I saw you—with Boy. You looked so wonderful…. All in green you were, standing with your feet close together, and your head on one side. Your hair was coming down, and the sun was shining on it…. I found out who you were, and came to Pau. I wanted to get to know you. I felt I must. And, whenever you all went out, I followed in the two-seater. And then—I got to know you—at St. Bertrand—that wonderful, wonderful day…. I—was—so—awfully—happy…. And now"—his voice sank to a wail—"I wish I hadn't. If only I'd stopped to think…. But I didn't. I just knew I wanted to be with you, and that was all. Oh," he burst out suddenly, "why did I ever do it? Why did I ever follow you—that wonderful day? If I'd dreamed how miserable it'd make me, how miserably wretched I'd be… It's the dreadful hopelessness, Jill, the dreadful hopelessness…. But I can't help it. It's something stronger than me. It's not enough to be with you. I want to touch you: I want to put my arms round your neck: I want to play with your hair…. Of course I'm terribly lucky to be able to kiss your hand, but—— Ah, don't be frightened. I was—only playing, Jill, only pretending. And now I'm going to be all serious again—not quiet, but serious. Good-bye, Madonna. Have you ever seen Pagliacci? Where the fellow bursts into tears? I think I could do that part this afternoon…."
A light padding upon the gravel came to our ears.
Then a car's door slammed.
A moment later Piers' two-seater purred its way down the drive….
Adèle and I continued to sit very still.
Presently I turned to her and raised my eyebrows.
"Hopelessness?" I whispered. "Hopelessness? What on earth does he mean?"
My wife shrugged her shoulders helplessly.