Elementary Composition

by Dorothy Canfield Fisher; George R. Carpenter

8. The Formless Sentence.—There is still one other sort of sentence to be avoided; that is the ugly, shapeless sentence that results from placing together a number of complete statements loosely connected by and, but, or so. Sometimes this is called the and sentence or the so sentence, because these two connectives are so frequently used by inexperienced writers. Let us call it the formless sentence, meaning thereby a sentence which is deficient in form, or the form of which is ugly or distasteful to the trained eye and ear. You will have to acquire your sense or taste for form in sentences by practice and experience; but you will be helped by studying the sentences given below. Those in the left-hand column are well-written; those in the right-hand column are formless.

1. At half-past nine we	1. At half-past nine we
reached Charles's house, and	reached Charles's house and
until half-past ten we were	until half-past ten we were
busy thinking what to do.	busy thinking what to do,
Finally, some one suggested	until some one suggested a
a climb up the Palisades, and	climb up the Palisades, and
we started off at eleven.	so we started off at eleven.
2. As it was getting very	2. It was getting very
cloudy, we put on some of	cloudy, so we put on some of
Charles's old clothes.	Charles's old clothes.
3. When I returned, it	3. When I returned, it
had stopped raining, and the	had stopped raining, and the
boys were receiving a lecture	boys were receiving a lecture
from the farmer's wife. She	from the farmer's wife,
told us that we had no right	who told us that we had no
on her property, and a few	right on her property, and
other things we didn't pay	a few other things we didn't
much attention to. But	pay much attention to, but
when she said that her husband	one thing she told us was
was a magistrate, and	that her husband was a magistrate,
that she could have us locked	and that she could
up, we got away as quickly	have us locked up, and so we
as we could.	got away from there as quickly as we could.
4. I had been traveling	4. I had been traveling
all day through the	all day through the snow
snow with one companion,	with one companion, who
who had now gone off to	had now gone off to what
what our compasses told us	our compasses told us was
was the south, in search of	the south, in search of wood,
wood. I was hungry and	and I was thoroughly hungry
thoroughly tired. More than	and tired, for more than
once during the day I	once during the day I had
had stepped on what seemed	stepped on what seemed to be
to be firmly packed snow,	firmly packed snow, only to
only to sink to my waist in	sink to my waist in a soft
a soft drift, and it was always	drift, and it was always with
with difficulty that	difficulty that
I had got out.	I had got out.

You will see, then, that there is certain "knack" which you must acquire of giving a sentence a pleasing form. With a little patience, you will soon learn it, and you will gain it all the more easily by remembering that the ugly formless sentence, which you are to avoid, is simply a long loose sentence (see § 4).

Exercise 26.—Reconstruct the following sentences:—

1. There once reigned a queen, and in her garden were found the most glorious flowers of all seasons and from all lands, but she loved best the roses, and so she had the most various kinds of this flower, and they grew against the earth walls, and wound themselves round pillars and window frames, and all along the ceiling in all the halls, and the roses were various in fragrance, form, and color.

2. Many years ago there lived an emperor, and he cared enormously for new clothes, and he wanted to be very fine, so he spent all his money for clothes, and he did not care about his soldiers, but only liked to drive out and show his new clothes, and he had a coat for every hour of the day, and just as they say of a king, "He is in council," they said of him, "The emperor is in his wardrobe."

3. Napoleon's marshals came to him once in the midst of a battle and said, "We have lost the day and are being cut to pieces," but the great soldier drew out his watch, unmoved, and said, "It is only two o'clock in the afternoon, and though you have lost the battle you have time to win another," so they charged again and won a victory, and we should enter our battle-fields of difficulty with the same unconquerable spirit.

4. The highest courage is sustained courage, for the power of continuance adds to all other powers, and to face danger, appreciate the full demand and meet it to the end, is the height of brave living, for most young hearts can respond to a sudden demand for courage, but the long stretch finds them lacking.

5. A New York woman called on Emerson one morning and found the philosopher reading in his study, while near him on a plate there lay a little heap of cherry stones, and the visitor slipped one of these stones into her glove. Some months later she met Emerson again at a reception in Boston and recalled her visit to him and then she pointed to the brooch she wore, a brooch of gold and brilliants with the cherry stone set in the center and she said, "I took this stone from the plate at your elbow on the morning of my call," and Emerson replied, "Ah, I'll tell my amanuensis of that and he will be so pleased, for he loves cherries, but I never touch them myself."