Her aspect, her accent, her shaken voice gave him a great start. He faced her. He looked at her as though he saw her for the first time that day. And he grew very pale as he looked. Something wordless passed between them. Now he knew at last what she was afraid of.
But he did not flinch. He said desperately, in a harsh voice, "You have to take what comes to you in life," and was grimly silent.
Then with a gesture as though to put away something incredible, approaching him, he went on more quietly, "But my experience is that it doesn't dare spring if you walk right up to it. Generally you find you're less afraid of everything in the world, after that."
She had been frightened, stabbed through and through by the look they had interchanged, by the wordless something which had passed between them. But now she wondered suddenly, passionately, amazedly, if he had really understood all the dagger-like possibilities of their talk.
"Neale," she challenged him, "don't you put any limits on this? Isn't there anywhere you'd stop out of sheer respect? Nothing too hallowed by . . ."
"Nothing. Nothing," he answered her, his face pale, his eyes deep and enduring. "It's lying down, not to answer the challenge when it comes. How do you know what you have to deal with if you won't look to see? You may find out that something you have been trusting is growing out of a poisonous root. That does happen. What's the use of pretending that it couldn't to you, as to anybody else? And what's the use of having lived honestly, if you haven't grown brave enough to do whatever needs to be done? If you are scared by the idea that your motherhood may be only inverted sensuality, or if you think there is any possibility that the children would be better off in other hands, or if you think . . . if you think there is any other terrifying possibility in our life here, for God's sake look into your own heart and see for yourself! It all sounds like nonsense to me, but . . ."
She snatched at the straw, she who longed so for help. "Oh, Neale, if you think so, I know . . ."
"I won't have you taking my word for it!" he told her roughly. "I can't tell what's back of what you do. And you oughtn't to take my word for it if I tried to. Nobody on earth can make your decision for you, but you yourself." The drops stood out on his forehead as he spoke, and ran down his pale face.
She quivered and was silent for a moment. Then, "Neale, where shall I get the strength to do that?" she asked.