AN IRISH WAGER.
Two natives of the Emerald Isle, who were travelling together, finding their means run short, and being in want of a “dhrop of the craythur,” devised the ways and means for raising a supply. Catching a frog in a ditch, one of them went on with it in advance of his companion, and stopping at the first public-house he came to, asked the landlord if he could tell what sort of an animal that was? “What sort of an animal?” exclaimed Boniface, “why, you booby, it’s a frog, to be sure.” “Booby here, booby there,” said Pat, “it strikes me you’re mistaken, for as ’cute as you think yourself, I’ll bet you the price of a pint of whisky it’s a mouse; and I’ll lave it to the first traveller that comes up to decide between us.” “Agreed,” said the landlord. Pat’s confederate came up; and being required to say what sort of an animal it was, after much examination and deliberation, declared it to be a mouse; and thus the landlord, in spite of the evidence of his senses, had to pay the wager.
A SAD MISTAKE.
A farm servant in Strathearn having intimated to his master that it was his intention “to take unto himself a wife,” and being rather a bit of a favourite, was ordered to take a greybeard and go to Perth for a gallon of whisky, for the purpose of adding to the hilarity of the occasion. The lad willingly did as ordered; and when the marriage company were about starting to meet the bride, stalked majestically into the middle of the room, with glass in hand, and the greybeard under his arm, and filling a bumper, handed it to the nearest person, who hurriedly swallowed it, but instantly shaking his head, gravely remarked, that it was “shurely some o’ the new-fangled mixture graith.” Being in too great haste to give the observation that attention it merited, the second was instantly filled and tasted; but how aghast did the company look when the recipient roared out in a voice of horror, “L—d, Jock, that’s uily!” And “uily” it was. The bridegroom, on going to St. Johnston, had taken the wrong jar, and having requested the shopman to “fill that wi’ the auld thing,” the wary functionary, to catch the plain meaning, smelled the jar, and implemented the order accordingly. Although the mistake was felt severely at the time, we are happy to say that a good horse speedily bore the needful from a neighbouring public-house, and everything afterwards went on with a spirit which, instead of being damped, appeared to have been augmented by the mischance.
SCOTCH ANECDOTE.
An anxious Scotch mother was taking leave of her son on his departure for England, and giving him all good advice. “My dear Sauny, my ainly son, gang south and get all the siller from the southerns, take every thing you can, but the English are a braw boxing people, and take care of them Sauny. My dear son Sauny, never fight a bald man, for you cannot catch hold of him by the hair of his head.”