A cat, I am told,
In abhorrence you hold;
Your Honour’s aversion is mine!
If a cat with one tail
Makes your stout heart to fail,
O, save me from one that has NINE!
Two boys, belonging to the chaplains of two different men of war, entertaining each other with an account of their respective manners of living—How often, Jack, says the one, do you go to prayers? Why, answered Jack, we pray when we are afraid of a storm, or going to fight! Aye, quoth the other, there is some sense in that; but my master makes us go to prayers when there is no more occasion for it than for my jumping overboard.
A man having been capitally convicted at the Old Bailey, was, as usual, asked what he had to say why judgement of death should not pass against him? Say! replied he, why I think the joke has been carried far enough already, and the less that is said about it the better—If you please, Sir, we’ll drop the subject.
Advertisement from a London Paper—Wanted for a wine-merchant’s house in the city, as a porter, an athletic man, of a serious countenance, a character, and of the Protestant religion; must attend prayers twice a day, and divine worship four times on Sunday; be able to bear confinement, have the fear of God before his eyes, and be master for two hundred weight. Wages fourteen shillings a week, and find himself.
A man seeing in the street an old woman who drove some asses, said, Adieu, mother of asses. Adieu, adieu, my son, answered she.