A GOOD WIFE
Should be like three things; which three things she should not be like.
First.—She should be like a snail, always keep within her house:—but she should not be like a snail, to carry all she has upon her back.
Secondly.—She should be like an echo, speak when she is spoken to:—but she should not be like an echo, always to have the last word.
Thirdly.—She should be like a town-clock, always keep time and regularity:—but she should not be like a town-clock, to speak so loud that all the town may hear her.
A WEATHER-MASTER.
An Irish pastor, when applied to by one of his flock for a shower of rain, said he should be happy to oblige him, but he had several previous applications for dry weather; and as it would be impossible for him to disoblige any of his congregation, he was under the necessity of declining to interfere.
EPITAPH ON GABRIEL JOHN.
Here lies the body of Gabriel John
Who died in the year 1001.