Aff he goes to the minister, and owns a’ his faut to him; and Mess John desired him to appear before the congregation the next Sabbath, to be rebuked for his fau’t.
Jock. Indeed, Sir, I wad think naething to stan’ a time or twa on the black stool, to please you, if there were naebody in the kirk, on a ouke-day, but you and the elders to flyte a wee on me; but ’tis waur on a Sunday to have a’ bodies looking and laughing at me, as I had been codding the peas, sipping the kirn, or something that’s no bonny, like pissing the bed.
Minist. Aweel John, never mind you these things, but come ye to the stool it’s nothing when it’s over, we cannot say o’er muckle to you about it.
Upon Sunday thereafter, John comes with Uncle Rabby’s auld wide coat, a muckle grey lang-tail’d wig, and a big bonnet, which covered his face, so that he seemed more like an old Pilgrim than a young fornicator! mounts the creepy wi’ a stiff, stiff back, as he had been a man of sixty! Every one looked at him, thinking he was some old stranger, who knew not the stool of repentance by another seat, so that he passed the first day unknown but to very few; yet, on the second it came to be well known, that the whole parish and many more, came to see him which caused such a confusion, that he was absolved, and got his children baptised the next day.—But there happened a tullie between the twa mothers’ who would have both their names to be John. A-weel says auld John their father to the Minister, A-deed, Sir, ye maun ca’ the tane John and the tither Jock, and that will please baith these enemies of mankind.
Minist. Now John, you must never kiss another Woman but your own wife; live justly, like another honest man, and you’ll come to die well.
Jock. A black end on a me, Sir, if ever I lay an unlawfu’ leg upon a hissy again, an’ they sud lie down to me, as lang as our Maggy lasts; and for dying, there’s nae fear of that, or I’ll no get fair play, if ye an’ a’ the aulder folk in the parish be not dead before me. So I hae done wi’ ye now, fareweel Sir.
