When guilt is raised up, take heed of getting it allayed any way but by Christ’s blood, that will tend to hardening. Make Christ thy peace, Eph. i. 14, not thy duties, thy tears, &c. Thou mayest offend Christ by duties as well as sins. Look at Christ, and do as much as thou wilt. Rest with all thy weight upon Christ’s righteousness; take heed of having one foot on thine own righteousness and another on Christ’s. Till he come and sit on high, upon a throne of grace in the conscience, there is nothing but guilt, terror, secret suspicions, the soul hanging betwixt hope and fear, which is an un-gospel-like state.
He that fears to see sin’s utmost vileness, the utmost hell of his own heart, suspects the merits of Christ. Be thou never such a great sinner, 1 John, ii. 1; try Christ, to make him thy advocate, and thou shalt find him Jesus Christ the righteous. In all doubtings, fears, storms of conscience, look at Christ continually. Do not argue it with Satan, he desires no better. Bid him go to Christ, and he will answer him. It is his office to be our advocate, 1 John, ii. 1. His office is to answer the law as our surety, Heb. vii. 22; his office to answer justice, as our Mediator, Gal. iii. 20; 1 Tim. ii. 5. And he is sworn to that office, Heb. vii. 20, 21. Put Christ upon it. If thou wilt do any thing thyself to satisfaction for sin, thou renouncest Christ the righteous, who was made sin for thee, 2 Cor. v. 21.
Satan may alledge, and corrupt scripture, but he cannot answer scripture. It is Christ’s word of mighty authority. Christ foiled Satan with it, Matt. iv. 10. In all the scripture there is not an ill word against a poor sinner stripped of self-righteousness; nay, it plainly points out this man to be the subject of the grace of the gospel, and none else. Believe but in Christ’s willingness, and that will make thee willing. If thou findest thou canst not believe, put him upon it; he works to will and to believe, put him upon it; he works to will and to do of his own pleasure, Phil. ii. 13. Mourn for thy unbelief, which is a setting up of guilt in the conscience above Christ, an undervaluing of the merits of Christ, accounting his blood an unholy, a common, and unsatisfying thing.
Thou complainest much of thyself.—Doth thy sin make thee look more at Christ, less at thyself! That is right, else complaining is but hypocrisy. To be looking at duties, graces, enlargements, when thou shouldst be looking at Christ, that is pitiful. Looking at them will make you humble. By grace ye are saved, Eph. ii. 5, 8. In all thy temptations be not discouraged, James, i. 2. Those surges may be not to drown thee, but to cast thee on the Rock Christ.
Thou mayest be brought low, even to the brink of hell, yet there thou mayest cry, there thou mayest look towards the holy temple, Jonah, ii. 14. Into that temple none might enter but purified ones, and with an offering too, Acts, xxi. 26. But now Christ is our temple, sacrifice, altar, and high-priest to whom none must come but sinners, and that without any offering but his own blood once offered. Heb. vii. 27.
Remember all the patterns of grace that are in heaven. Thou thinkest, “Oh what a monument of grace shall I be!” There are many thousands as rich monuments as thou canst be. The greatest sinner did never surpass the grace of Christ. Do not despair: hope still. When the clouds are blackest, even then look towards Christ, the standing pillar of the Father’s love and grace, set up in heaven, for all sinners to gaze upon continually. Whatsoever Satan or conscience say, do not conclude against thyself. Christ shall have the last word; he is judge of quick and dead, and must pronounce the fatal sentence. His blood speaks reconciliation, Col. i. 20; cleansing, 1 John, i. 7; purchase, Acts xx. 28; redemption, 1 Pet. i. 9; purging, Heb. v. 13, 14; remission, verse 22; liberty, Heb. x. 19; justification, Rom. v. 9; nearness to God, Eph. ii. 13. Not a drop of this blood shall be lost. Stand and hearken what God will say, for he will speak peace to his people, that they return no more to folly, Psal. lxxxv. 8. He speaks grace, mercy, and peace, 2 Tim. i. 2. That is the language of the Father and of Christ. Wait for Christ’s appearing, as the morning star, Rev. xxii. 19. He shall come as certain as the morning, as refreshing as the rain, Hos. vi. 3.
The sun may as well be hindered from rising, as Christ the sun of righteousness, Mal. iv. 2. Look not a moment off Christ. Look not upon sin, but look upon Christ first: when thou mournest for sin, if thou dost not see Christ, then away with it, Zech. ii. 20. In every duty look at Christ; before duty, to pardon; in duty, to assist; after duty, to accept. Without this it is but carnal careless duty. Do not legalise the gospel, as if part did remain to thee to do and suffer, and Christ were but an half mediator; and thou must bear part of thine own sin, and make part satisfaction. Let sin break thy heart, but not thy hope in the gospel.
Look more at justification than sanctification. In the highest commands consider Christ, not as an exactor, to inquire, but a debtor and undertaker, to work. If thou hast looked at workings, duties, qualifications, &c., more than at the merits of Christ, it will cost thee dear; no wonder thou goest complaining; graces may be evidences, the merits of Christ alone, without them, must be the foundation of thy hope to rest upon. Christ only can be the hope of glory, Col. i. 27.
When we come to God, we must bring nothing but Christ with us. Any ingredients, or any previous qualifications of our own, will poison and corrupt faith. He that builds upon duties, graces, &c., knows not the merits of Christ; this makes believing so hard, so far from nature. If thou believest, thou must every day renounce as dung and dross, (Phil. iii. 7, 9,) thy privileges, thy qualifications, thy baptism, thy sanctification, thy duties, thy graces, thy tears, thy meltings, thy humblings, and nothing but Christ must be held up. Every day thy workings, thy self-sufficiency must be destroyed. Thou must take all out of God’s hand. Christ is the gift of God, John, iv. 10. Faith is the gift of God, Eph. ii. 1. Pardon a free gift, Rom. v. 16. Ah, how nature storms, frets, rages at this, that all is of gift, and it can purchase nothing with its actings, and tears, and duties; that all workings are excluded, and of no value in heaven!
If nature had been to contrive the way of salvation, it would rather have put it into the hands of saints or angels to sell it, than the hands of Christ, who gives freely, whom therefore it suspects; nature would have set up a way to purchase by doing; therefore it abominates the merits of Christ, as the most destructive thing to it. Nature would do any thing to be saved, rather than go to Christ, or close with Christ, and owe all to him. Christ will have nothing; but the soul will force somewhat of his own upon Christ. Herein is that great controversy.—Consider—didst thou ever yet see the merits of Christ, and the infinite satisfaction made by his death? Didst thou see this when the burden of sin and the wrath of God lay heavy on thy conscience? That is grace. The greatness of Christ’s merit is not known but to a poor soul in deep distress! Slight convictions will but have slight low prizings of Christ’s blood and merits.