Teag. Arra, dear shoy, I was going through that little country village, the famous city of Chester, the streets was very sore by reason of the hardness of my feet, and lameness of my brogues, so I went but very slowly a-cross the streets, from port to port is a pretty long way, but I being weary thought nothing of it: then the people came all crowding to me as I had been a world’s wonder, or the wandering Jew: For the rain blew in my face, and the wind wetted all my belly, which caused me to turn the backside of my coat before, and my buttons behind, which was a good safeguard to my body, and the starvation of my naked back: as I had not a good shirt.
Tom. I am sure then, Pady, they would take you for a fool?
Teag. No, no, sir, they admired me for my wisdom, for I always turned my buttons before, when the wind blew on behind, but I wondered greatly how the people knew my name, and where I came from: for every one told another, that was Pady from Cork: I suppose they knew my face by seeing my name in the newspapers.
Tom. Well, Pady, what business did you follow in Chester?
Teag. To be sure I was not idle, working at nothing at all, until a decruiting sergeant came to town with two or three fellows along with him, one beating on a fiddle, and another playing on a drum, tossing their airs thro’ the street, as if they were going to be married: and I saw them courting none but young men; so to bring myself to no preferment at all, I listed for a soldier because I was too high for a grandedeer.
Tom. And what listing money did you get, Pady?
Teag. Arra, dear shoy, I got five thirteens and a pair of English brogues; the guinea and the rest of the gold was sent away to London, to the King my master, to buy me new shirts, a cockade, and common treasing for my hat, they made me swear the malicious oath of devilrie against the King, the colours, and my captain, telling me if ever I desert and not run away, that I should be shot, and then whipt to death, through the regiment.
Tom. No Pady: it is first whipt and then shot you mean.
Teag. Arra, dear shoy, it is all one thing at last, but it is best to be shot and then whipt, the cleverest way to die, I’ll warrant you.
Tom. How much pay did you get, Pady?