Tom. And what is the matter but you would be a church of Englandman, or a Scotch Presbyterian yourself, Pady?
Pady. Because it is unnatural for an Irishman, but had shaint Patrick been a Presbyterian, I had been the same.
Tom. And for what reason would you be a Presbyterian then, Pady?
Pady. Because they have a liberty to eat flesh in lent, and every thing that’s fit for the belly.
Tom. What, Pady, are you such a lover of flesh that you would change your profession for it?
Pady. O yes, that’s what I did, I love flesh of all kinds, sheep’s beef, swine’s mutton, hare’s flesh, and hen’s venison; but our religion is one of the hungriest in all the world, ah! but it makes my teeth to weep, and my belly to water, when I see the Scotch Presbyterians and English churchmen, in time of lent, feeding upon bull’s bastards, and sheep’s young children.
Tom. Why Pady, do you say the bull is a fornicator, and gets bastards?
Pady. Arra, dear shoy, I never saw the cow and her husband, all the days of my life, nor before I was born, going to the church to be married, and what then can his sons and daughters be but bastards?
Tom. O Pady, Pady, the cow is but a cow, but and so are you: but what reward will you get when you are dead, for punishing your belly so while you are alive?
Pady. By shaint Patrick I’ll live like a king when I’m dead, for I will neither pay for meat nor drink.