Mither. Hut awa’, daft dog it thou is, that’s no the gate, thou maun gang in wi’ bra’ good manners an’ something manfu’; put on a Sunday’s face and sigh as ye were a saint; sit down beside her as ye were a Mess John; keek ay till her now and then wi’ a sto’en look, and had your mouth as mim, and grave as a May-puddock, or a whore at a christening; crack well o’ our wealth, and hide our poverty.
Sawny. Ay but mither, there’s some other way in courting nor that, or the lasses would never couple so close to them.
Mither. Ay but Sawny man, there is a time for everything and that too; when ye sit where nae body sees you, you may tak her head in your oxter, like a creesh pig, dab nebs wi’ her now an’ than, but be sure ye keep a close mouth when ye kiss her; clap her cheeks and straik her paps, but for your drowning gang nae farther down; but fouk’s that’s married can put their hand to ony part they like.
Sawny. Aha, but mither, I didna ken the first word o’ courting, the lassie ’ill no ken what am com’d about.
Mither. Ay will she lad, wink and keek well to her, she’ll hae a guess; seek a quiet word o’ her at the door; an’ gin it be dark, gie her a wee bit kiss when ye’ve tell’d her your errand; an’ gin they gi’e you cheese and bread, or ony meat, ca’t good, whether it be sae or no; and for my blessing, be mensfu’ wi’ your mouth, and dinna eat o’er muckle, for I seen you sip as mony milk brose as wad a sar’t twa men to carry on a barrow.
Sawny. A but mither, ye’re lying now, or it was na’ a’ at ance than, but an they set meat before me, and I be hungry, a de’il claw the clungest[33] an’ I be nae upsides wi’t, for that same. A faith mither, fouks maun hae meat, an’ they should ne’er get wives, there’s some o’ them no worth the cursing, an’ a body were na letting an oath whether or no: a hear ye that now, when ye pit me till’t, and gar me speak; ay by my sooth, I wad rather hae a bit good powny[34] an’ a pound o’ cheese, or I were bound to bab after ony hizzies buttocks I see yet.
Mither. Wa Sawny man thou’s a fool an’ that’s a fau’t: gin every ane were as easy about women as thou is, the warld wad be a wilderness in a wee time; there wad be nae body to inhabit the earth but brute beasts, cats and dogs wad be worrying ither, and every thing gae to confusion. Gae to the courting ye dog it ye are, and either do something or naething at a’.
End of the First Part.
The other two Parts give an account of his behaviour when in courtship with the bride, the wedding, speuing of the blankets, &c.