Mrs Nutts. Not with your razors in the state they are. ’Twould be another thing if you was stropped as you ought to be. And I must tell you this——
Nutts. And I must tell you, Mrs Nutts, that I won’t have you here in the shop. ’Tisn’t your place.
Mrs Nutts. Don’t you think it? All the years I’ve been married to you, I’ve been kept in the background—and you know it, Nutts. Very well, as I said afore, Tommy’s weaned, and now I shall come for’ard and enjoy myself. Women, as I said to Mrs Biggleswade over the way—women have been kept too long under, a good deal too long. But it is my intention now, Nutts—and I give you fair warnin’—to jine the movement.
Nutts. I wish you’d lead it and get out of this. (Mrs Nutts determinedly drops in a chair.) Well, you are the most aggravating thing as ever wore petticoats; you are——(Slowgoe, Peabody, Nosebag, &c., drop in.) Mrs Nutts, my darling, where’s the hot water?
Mrs Nutts. On the fire, and minding its business. Biling, as it ought to do, Mr Nutts.
Slowgoe. I’m first, Nutts; but I’m in no hurry. I haven’t heard a bit of news this week: feel quite starving. (Takes paper—sits.) Well, I’ve often thought what Rob’son Crusoe did without a newspaper. To me, a paper’s meat and drink, and a blanket to sleep in. Ha! so I see the Duke of Borducks——
Peabody. Beg your pardon—Bordeaux.
Slowgoe. I know; but it’s Borducks in English. He’s got a wife at last. The Duke of Modena’s sister—aged thirty—with four millions of money!
Mrs Nutts. Poor thing! I hope she’s settled every penny on it on herself, else a nice life she’ll have of it.
Nutts. Four millions of money, and got safe to thirty with it! ’Twouldn’t have happened had she been in England! She’d had a swarm o’ Irish barristers stopping her on the king’s highway, every one with his heart and weddin’-ring. Four millions! Why, sweethearts would have swarmed round her like flies round a sugar-cask.