Rochecotte, December 11, 1837.—I took my sister for a long drive yesterday. She thinks this place very pretty, and, as other persons have already told me, assures me that nothing recalls to her so much la bella Italia. We had hardly returned from our long drive than I began it over again for M. de Salvandy, who dropped in unexpectedly at dinner, and after a short stay continued his journey to Nogent-le-Rotrou, where he is going to an electoral banquet. He told us that the Duc de Nemours had reached Havre with a broken arm, in consequence of an accident upon board of a wretched steamship. He travelled by Gibraltar, in order to avoid a great ball that the town of Marseilles had prepared for him, and over which great expense had been incurred. The King is very displeased by this prank.
Rochecotte, December 19, 1837.—Last spring when I consulted Lisfranc and Cruveilhier they both told me that I was threatened by a tendency to feverishness. Since that time my life has been arranged to avoid the danger, and with success; but since the arrival of my sister I have felt a great and steadily increasing nervous agitation, so much so that yesterday inflammation was pronounced, with violent fever. I am much distressed, and think I shall have to spend some days in bed or upon my sofa.
Rochecotte, December 20, 1837.—The doctor says that I am better to-day. I never remember having felt so ill as the day before yesterday. I am still keeping my room, and feel very poorly, but the doctor repeats that there is no danger, and that with a few days' more care I shall be quite well.
Rochecotte, December 25, 1837.—The pain in my right side is growing less, and I am not so weak. When I am stronger I shall speak of my thoughts during these days of danger through which I have passed. The mental life becomes the clearer when the outward eye is veiled and obscured.[ [83]
Rochecotte, December 26, 1837.—I am better, and very grateful to Providence which has delivered me from so grievous a state; but I shall not recover from the shock for a long time. I was deeply touched to learn that yesterday during the service I was recommended to the prayers of the congregation. All my neighbours and the whole countryside have been most kind; my servants have watched and worked with infinite zeal, and the two doctors, MM. Cogny and Orie, have been very attentive.
Rochecotte, December 28, 1837.—The weather is magnificent, and at midday I shall be wheeled on to the terrace for a moment.
I have no news from Paris, and am greatly ignorant of the affairs of this world. It seemed to me during the two days that I was ill that I saw something of the things of the next world, and that it was not so difficult as might be thought to rise towards one's Creator; that there was even a certain sweetness in the idea that one was to rest at length from all the troubles of life. Providence can soften all the trials which He sends to us, by giving us the strength to bear them, and one can never feel too thankful for all the Divine favours.
Rochecotte, December 31, 1837.—This last day of a year, which upon the whole has not been entirely agreeable, induces me to throw a retrospective glance upon my life—an effort which produces a not very pleasant result. However, it would be wrong to complain; if misfortunes are not lacking for me, there are also blessings which it would be ungrateful not to recognise; and one may feel despondent and serious and yet have no right to feel or to call oneself unhappy. May God preserve for myself and for those whom I love, honour, health, and that peace of mind which keeps the soul from care, and my thanks will be heartfelt.