I beg you to let me know what sum it is you wish, at what time or times to be paid? Whether an order at a Banker would suit you? If Payable at a Banker usually employed by you, will you be so kind as to let me know his Name? All this legibly written!
Ever yours most faithfully.
Wellington.
I entreat you to write legibly! and to avoid fatiguing yourself by writing too much!
This letter of the Duke's, if hardly gracious, is at least not unkind. The answer he received was of a nature to drive a man of his practicality to the verge of distraction:—
My dear Duke,—As "for me to live is Christ, but to die is gain," you may rest assured however surrounded by pecuniary difficulties, I should have preferred the latter to making known my circumstances to you. Had I not been so continually urged by my dear Sister telling me that it would kill her, that she could never bear to leave me in England thus situated and that she hoped for her sake that I should use the only means in my power for prolonging my life I never could have told you such truths. I am not surprised that they drew forth the remark that you had never read of such a state of pecuniary affairs. Nor would I offer so great an insult to my Christianity as to do more than add that the same God Who has thought proper thus to situate me knows that I would never dishonor His great Name by the slightest misrepresentation. Therefore, My dear Duke, if you read that letter carefully you will be much better able to calculate what I require than I am to tell you. I would not do so, nor am I able to tell you by what means I am to receive it as I never did such a thing and know nothing of money arrangements. Consequently I must leave all to God and yourself, beseeching Him to guide, influence and direct you to treat me in whatever way is most agreeable to His unerring will and to bless you accordingly.
Your kind wish that I should not fatigue myself with writing too much is, rest assured, appreciated as it deserves, as every other mark of kindness and consideration shown to
Yours devotedly,
A. J.
A Harold Skimpole in petticoats! The ineffable condescension to the worldly-mindedness of the Duke, the tone of spiritual pride that pervades the letters, would be exasperating if they were not absurd. That the humorous side of the affair was not apparent to the Duke is shown by his reply:—