Waiting your reply before I can decide what further line of conduct to pursue, praying in the mean time to be directed by Him Who knows all the secret, hidden motives of the human heart without exception, I inscribe myself,
Your sincere Christian friend,
A. J.
P.S. Since writing the above, my antipathy to the omission of either your name or seal is so increased that I beg to decline receiving any letter which does not bring with it these marks of due respect.
Not satisfied with sending off this letter, Miss J. followed it with another no less severe. In her Diary she describes the feelings that swayed her while she awaited a reply to her missives:
"September 16th—Morning. I have risen this morning (my first in this place—Hampstead—) strong in The Lord and in the power of His might. I am prepared to meet whatever HE may see fit, casting my burthen wholly on him and desirous of nothing in comparison with His honor and glory. O may He be magnified powerfully both in my life and death, and may every period of my remaining days be dedicated more devotedly unto Him than any hitherto spent; 'growing up in Him as a tree planted by the waterside' bringing forth fruit plentifully, knowing that 'it is written' 'He that abideth in ME and I in him the same bringeth forth much fruit,'—Be with me graciously and mightily when I hear from the Duke today—if I do—and especially tomorrow when the reply comes to that sent off yesterday, strengthening me 'in the inner man' to treat it as Thou wouldst have me do in every respect, having no will of my own and loving Thine above all things. Thou knowest, O Gracious God, what is in the Duke's heart, and why he has recourse to the ways which have occasioned my displeasure. Therefore I give him up into Thy Hands to deal with accordingly, beseeching Thee to have mercy on his precious Soul, bringing it from darkness to light and from the power of Satan unto Thyself for Christ's sake!
"September 16th 1835.—Evening. The whole of this day has been marked with such divine strength from Him Who causes me to feel the force of this passage of Holy Writ 'When I am weak then am I strong,' that it is impossible to be sufficiently thankful. No letter has arrived from the Duke. However I suppose tomorrow will bring with it the anticipated answer. O may I be strengthened additionally to bear it if unkind! and prove myself ready to pluck out a right eye or cut off a right arm for Christ's sake! which we may be understood to do when we resign those dearest upon earth at His command.
"Friday September 18th 1835. It is now between 11 and 12 o'clock and I am sitting at my pretty window with it open, waiting to know whether the Lord sees fit to allow me to receive a letter today from the Duke in reply to my two last which have received no answers yet. O may I be strengthened 'in the inner man' to receive whatever is agreeable to the will of God, as His Child, dependent on Him for all things!
"The paragraph noticed in the paper of yesterday was marked with that presumption which is ever more or less perceivable in 'the natural man,' who seems to act without any reference to the will of God whatever, declaring 'I will do this and that,' instead of remembering that their lives are in His Hands and that He can snatch them away at any moment. To see the Duke thus presumptuously reckoning on several weeks to come proves how little what I have written on that subject is alluded to, showing me still further the inefficacy of all man's endeavors until accompanied with the mighty power of God to the soul. The time I trust is at hand for this rebellious one when he will doubtlessly exclaim 'Thy mercies are infinite and Thy ways past finding out,' also 'Lord, what is man that Thou art mindful of him? or the son of man that Thou visitest him?'"
The Duke's replies to both Miss J.'s effusions followed one another in rapid succession:—