Sweet, again, to steal a-nigh and
Watch thee, ere thy meals begin,
Deftly weigh th' unleavened viand,
Lest thou be deceived therein:
Sweet to mark thee gravely dining:
Grand, when day has nearly gone,
'Tis to view yon Orb declining
Down behind thee, broadside on:
Ay! and when thy vassals tub thee,
And thou writhest 'neath the brick
Wherewithal they take and scrub thee,
'Twere a sight to heal the sick!
Not a pose but serves to ward off
Pangs that had of yore prevailed;
E'en the stab of being scored off
Owns the charm, old Double-Tailed!
But, O Thou that giv'st the flabby
Strength, and stingo'st up the weak:-
Restful as a grand old Abbey—
Bracing as a Mountain Peak:—
All the bonds of Age were slackened,
And my years were out of sight,
When I burst upon thy back end
As thou kneeled'st yesternight!
Head and frame were hidden. Only
Loomed a black, colossal Seat,
Taut, magnificent, and lonely,
O'er a pair of suppliant feet
To th' astounded mind conveying
Dreams from which my manhood shrank,
Of a very fat man praying,
Whom a boy would love to spank.
And I felt my fingers twitching,
And my sinews turned to wire,
And my palm was itching, itching,
With the old, unhallowed fire.
While the twofold voice within me
Urged their long-forgotten feud,
One to do thee shame would win me,—
One that whispered, 'Don't be rude!'