Fairy Tales from the Arabian Nights

by E. Dixon

Amongst the rest, some officers came on board, desiring to speak with the merchants in the name of the sultan. The merchants appearing, one of the officers told them, 'The sultan, our master, hath commanded us to acquaint you that he is glad of your safe arrival, and prays you to take the trouble, every one of you, to write some lines upon this roll of paper. You must know that we had a prime vizier who, besides having a great capacity to manage affairs, understood writing to the highest perfection. This minister is lately dead, at which the sultan is very much troubled; and since he can never behold his writing without admiration, he has made a solemn vow not to give the place to any man but to him who can write as well as he did. Many people have presented their writings, but, so far, nobody in all this empire has been judged worthy to supply the vizier's place.'

Those merchants that believed they could write well enough to aspire to this high dignity wrote one after another what they thought fit. After they had done, I advanced, and took the roll out of the gentleman's hand; but all the people, especially the merchants, cried out, 'He will tear it, or throw it into the sea,' till they saw how properly I held the roll, and made a sign that I would write in my turn; then they were of another opinion, and their fear turned into admiration. However, since they had never seen an ape that could write, nor could be persuaded that I was more ingenious than other apes, they tried to snatch the roll out of my hand; but the captain took my part once more. 'Let him alone,' said he; 'suffer him to write. If he only scribbles the paper, I promise you that I will punish him on the spot. If, on the contrary, he writes well, as I hope he will, because I never saw an ape so clever and ingenious and so quick of apprehension, I do declare that I will own him as my son; I had one that had not half the wit that he has.' Perceiving that nobody opposed my design, I took the pen and wrote six sorts of hands used among the Arabians, and each specimen contained an extemporary verse or poem in praise of the sultan. My writing did not only excel that of the merchants, but, I venture to say, they had not before seen any such fair writing in that country. When I had done, the officers took the roll, and carried it to the sultan.

The sultan took little notice of any of the other writings, but he carefully considered mine, which was so much to his liking that he said to the officers, 'Take the finest horse in my stable, with the richest harness, and a robe of the most sumptuous brocade to put upon that person who wrote the six hands, and bring him hither to me.' At this command the officers could not forbear laughing. The sultan grew angry at their boldness, and was ready to punish them, till they told him, 'Sir, we humbly beg your majesty's pardon; these hands were not written by a man, but by an ape.'

'What do you say?' said the sultan. 'Those admirable characters, are they not written by the hands of a man?'

'No, sir,' replied the officers; 'we do assure your majesty that it was an ape, who wrote them in our presence.'

The sultan was too much surprised at this not to desire a sight of me, and therefore said, 'Bring me speedily that wonderful ape.'

The officers returned to the vessel and showed the captain their order, who answered that the sultan's commands must be obeyed. Whereupon they clothed me with that rich brocade robe and carried me ashore, where they set me on horseback, whilst the sultan waited for me at his palace with a great number of courtiers, whom he gathered together to do me the more honour.

The cavalcade having begun, the harbour, the streets, the public places, windows, terraces, palaces, and houses were filled with an infinite number of people of all sorts, who flocked from all parts of the city to see me; for the rumour was spread in a moment that the sultan had chosen an ape to be his grand vizier; and after having served for a spectacle to the people, who could not forbear to express their surprise by redoubling their shouts and cries, I arrived at the palace of the sultan.

I found the prince on his throne in the midst of the grandees; I made my bow three times very low, and at last kneeled and kissed the ground before him, and afterwards sat down in the posture of an ape. The whole assembly admired me, and could not comprehend how it was possible that an ape should understand so well how to pay the sultan his due respect; and he himself was more astonished than any one. In short, the usual ceremony of the audience would have been complete could I have added speech to my behaviour: but apes never speak, and the advantage I had of having been a man did not allow me that privilege.

The sultan dismissed his courtiers, and none remained by him but the chief of the chamberlains, a young slave, and myself. He went from his chamber of audience into his own apartment, where he ordered dinner to be brought. As he sat at table he gave me a sign to come near and eat with them: to show my obedience I kissed the ground, stood up, sat down at table, and ate with discretion and moderation.