I found that our God is a loving Father and not a hard taskmaster. "Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him" (Psa. 103:13). Neither does he require us to do anything that is unreasonable. "I beseech you, therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service" (Rom. 12:1).
I also learned that the true test of our Christian experience is not the state of our feelings, but the power to resist temptation, to keep sweet under severe trials, and to manifest the meek and gentle spirit of the Master. I learned, moreover, that the Lord is not anxious to cast us off for every little failure, but is long-suffering and patient with us as long as we have a sincere aim and purpose to please him in all things. I learned more fully the secret of "casting all my care upon him," knowing that "all things work together for good to them that love God" (Rom. 8:28).
The last few years of my life have been marked by great victory in my experience. The former trials through which I passed have increased my usefulness by helping me to be more unselfish. I wondered at the time why God permitted such trials and sufferings; but now as I look back upon the past, I see that I could not afford to be without the discipline and training which those severe trials brought to me. In my work as a pastor I am all the more qualified to sympathize with and to help those who are meeting with similar trials and difficulties. As I remember my own conflicts and trials, I can be more charitable for others.
CONCLUSION
As the Lord turned again the captivity of Job and restored to him his former blessings, so he restored my health in due time, together with great victory along every line. Though I still meet with hard trials and perplexing problems, yet I have learned to take them all to him in simple, trusting faith, fully assured that he will direct in all things. As already explained, my natural tendency was to worry; yet through God's grace I have been able to meet some of the most perplexing problems with calmness and even in the face of these things to enjoy refreshing sleep, knowing that "he is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think" (Eph. 3:20).
I have ceased to long for an experience like that of some one else, knowing that God has given me one that is best for me. Peter and John were both true disciples of our Lord, yet how differently did they manifest outwardly the workings of God's Spirit within, which is ever the same!
Some years ago I discerned the oneness of God's people and became fully convinced that the Word of God should be our guide in all things pertaining to our spiritual welfare; that none of it should be omitted or cast aside. Since that time the light has been constantly increasing, and each succeeding year becomes more blessed in his service. I am learning more and more, as Paul expresses it, that "in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content" (Phil. 4:11). With the past all under the blood, I have no gloomy forebodings concerning the future; "for I know whom I have believed, and am persuaded that he is able to keep that which I have committed unto him against that day" (2 Tim. 1:12).