It was a cold October day when I drove to the place with horse and buggy and asked the people to come to our town. They were glad for the invitation, and we returned to my home the same day. There was especially one thing about them which surprized me, and that was how happy and contented they seemed to be; but I was a little unwilling to believe that it was really possible for a person to enjoy religion, for my association with so-called Christian people had made the impression upon my mind that Christianity, or salvation, was only for those who could not enjoy themselves in the world.
When the company that were to hold the meeting came to our home, I decided to study and examine their lives to find out whether they really possessed the joy and satisfaction that I was longing for. Their quiet, devoted lives convinced me of the fact that I ought to become a Christian. Deep conviction settled down upon me in the meetings. My mother and father, whose lives had made a deep impression upon me, pleaded with me to yield to God, but I was still unwilling to surrender.
After the meetings closed I tried to quench the Spirit by indulging in worldly pleasures and associating with my old friends, but it seemed that the Spirit of God was working so powerfully upon me that it was impossible to resist him. I remember especially an experience one afternoon. I was brought face to face with the supreme question, Are you ready to meet God? I decided that I would not yield, but that I would enjoy the pleasure of sin and the world for some years and later become a Christian.
Not being able to quench the convictions that the Spirit of God had wrought upon me, I deliberately indulged in blasphemy, determined to make the Holy Spirit leave me, but I am glad to say that God was merciful to me in not permitting my soul to be lost. For a moment I felt as though I had committed the unpardonable sin, that heaven was closed, and that my soul was lost forever. But I turned to God with tears and a broken heart, the Spirit of God again strove with me, and my sins were mercifully forgiven. The joy of heaven filled my soul, and I received the assurance that my name was written in the Book of Life. This was November 5, 1905.
SANCTIFICATION
My soul was perfectly satisfied, and for some time I felt as though all that heaven could give to a human being in this world had been given to me. But later I began to realize the need of something more. I heard teaching on the doctrine of entire sanctification and began to study about it in the Bible. The knowledge thus obtained caused me to seek for the experience, but I did not receive it as soon as I had expected. After some very hard struggles and much disappointment I finally concluded that the teaching was wrong in regard to this matter and that it was impossible to obtain the experience as it had been presented to me. Trying to comfort myself with this thought, I let the matter rest for a while, but I was not satisfied.
About two years after my conversion I decided that this matter should be settled between God and my soul. Going to the Lord in earnest prayer, I made a perfect consecration of all to God. The Lord began talking to my soul, and he made it clear to me that the reason why I had not obtained the experience sooner was not because the doctrine I had heard was wrong, but because I had an exaggerated idea of what sanctification really would do. I was under the impression that everything in my human nature which had caused me trouble would be removed in sanctification. I had failed to see that in sanctification human desires are not taken away but sanctified. I saw clearly that the cause for the most of my troubles was that I had failed to discriminate between carnality and humanity.
While I was consecrating, the Lord spoke to me, not audibly but by his Spirit, and asked me if I was willing to go to Denmark with the gospel. I was able to surrender on all points but this one, seeing that going to a foreign country would conflict with all my plans for the future. I felt very much like Abraham when he went to Mount Moriah with his only son to offer him there upon God's altar. But seeing that this was the only way and desiring to obtain the experience, I surrendered, placed all on the altar, and immediately I was sanctified and baptized with the Holy Ghost. Praise the Lord!
There were no outward demonstrations, no special manifestations of the power of God; but the Holy Ghost, being enthroned in my heart, gave me a power over the world and self which I had not experienced heretofore. This glorious experience I have now enjoyed for several years, and it never was more precious to me than it is at the present time. Halleluiah!