"Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven, but he that doeth the will of my Father." Every one who will give all into his hands will be brought through the fire, according to Zech. 13:9—"And I will bring a third part through the fire, and will refine them as silver is refined, and will try them as gold is tried: they shall call on my name, and I will hear them: I will say, It is my people: and they shall say, The Lord is my God." In telling some experiences in the furnace-flames, I wish to lose sight of everything except to be a help and encouragement to those who are in trial.
In writing my experience, I shall find it necessary to make mention of some of the sad things concerning my husband, a fact which I very much regret. But I trust that dear souls will take warning and realize that there is no limit to the work of the enemy when once he gains possession. I shall never cease to be thankful for the first copies of a paper called the Gospel Trumpet I ever saw. Through my reading them, conviction was sent to my soul by the Spirit of God; but being unwilling to meet the necessary conditions, I resisted the convictions and put the papers aside.
Some months afterwards while searching for something, I came across those papers, and immediately that same conviction returned, but again I resisted it. My health failed, and I continued to decline until I was almost in the jaws of death. Physicians could do nothing for me. During this time God was doing his best to get me to understand that if I would give up he would save and heal me. At last I yielded, and he saved my soul and healed me, and from that day until this, which has been more than eighteen years, I have been fascinated by the charms of a Christian life.
THE BEGINNING OF PERSECUTIONS
For a long time I did not meet with any persecution in my home, as my husband saw the light of the gospel and believed it to be the truth, but was not willing to walk in it. God followed after him with love and long-suffering. Time after time he resisted the conviction, but finally the Spirit succeeded in breaking up his heart and showed him what he must do to make his wrongs right. He began making a profession of religion, but refused to make all his wrongs right, and in a short time the enemy took possession of him, whereupon he turned against God and against me, and grew worse and worse.
Now the furnace-flames became hot. He was restless and could not be content to stay anywhere very long at a time, and everywhere we went he set about to turn the people against me by telling untruths to gain sympathy. He was very cruel to the children and me.
After we moved to a small town in northern Kansas, these words came vividly to my mind: "Fear none of those things which shall come upon thee." With the cruelty and persecution came a severe affliction. Two doctors pronounced it tuberculosis in the knee-joint. It was so serious that I could not bear to be moved, and when I sat in a rocking-chair I was obliged to have something under the rocker to keep the chair from moving. The thoughts of any one's coming near my knee made the pains go through my limb. At times I was able to walk some on crutches by being careful. My leg was swollen from above the knee down. At night I had to lie upon my back with pillows under my knee, and I could move neither to the right nor to the left, and sometimes just to cough a little caused almost unendurable pain.
All this happened during the months before a baby girl was born. My family and neighbors did not expect me to live, but God stood by me and gave me this assurance: that as the children of Israel faced the Red Sea with no possible way of crossing, and he divided the waters and let them pass through, so he would in like manner help me. Oh, it was precious to trust him!
Just about a week before the child was born, the excruciating pain left my knee, but upon my recovery it came back seemingly worse than ever. About three months later the Lord healed the disease, which has never returned. However, I was left a cripple, and have had to use crutches ever since that time.
At this time I had eight children. Two grown boys had gone from home, leaving me to care for the other six. I had a great desire to rear them for God. Thus far I had spent most of my Christian life in isolated places, where I was deprived of church privileges. It seemed that all the hosts of darkness were united against my determination to rear my children under Christian influence. Although I had many things to learn regarding how to do this, yet God was patient in teaching me.