Riches of grace

by E. E. Byrum

MY CONVERSION

In early childhood I was taught to pray and to reverence God's Word. I was deeply impressed with the truths that I learned at Sunday-school. Even as a child I loved the preaching-service, and the Word of God made a strong and lasting impression upon my mind.

When I was about ten years old, a revival was held in my home community. At an afternoon service, held especially for the children, I responded to the altar-call, and there I was completely broken up, the tears running in profusion down my face. My dear mother knelt by my side: "My boy," she said, "if you should desire anything good that I could bestow upon you, would you ask me for it?" I promptly replied in the affirmative. "Then," she continued, "would you believe that your request would be granted?" Again I answered in the affirmative. "That is the way to receive God's blessings," she said. "Now, when you ask the Lord to forgive your sins, believe that he hears and answers your prayer." In simple, child-like faith I believed the promise, and the peace of God gently flooded my soul. One of the most prominent features of my childhood experience was the peculiar love I felt for every one. I longed to see my companions saved.

EARLY TRIALS

Soon after my conversion and before that special series of meetings closed, I heard the pastor relate the experience of a certain boy who had sought and found the Lord. He said that after a period of earnest seeking, all the darkness was instantly dispelled and the boy was wonderfully saved. Judging from this vivid description, I decided that the boy must have witnessed some sudden manifestation of light. Immediately I began to doubt my experience. I was still more disturbed when I saw older persons struggling night after night at the altar and then finally experiencing some powerful emotions which seemed to be far more wonderful than anything that I had experienced. Sometimes I wished that I too might go to the altar again and pray and struggle until some wonderful demonstration should be given to me; but I was naturally backward and timid, and could scarcely make up my mind to go through such an ordeal of struggling as I had witnessed in some of more mature years.

ENCOURAGEMENTS

Although at times I was greatly distressed, yet often when I was in secret prayer, my heart was greatly comforted and I experienced seasons of quiet, peaceful blessings. I noticed, too, that some who had wonderful outward demonstrations at the time they were converted, did not hold out very long, but soon drifted back into sin, while in my own heart the desire still remained to be true to the Lord.

CONFLICTS

I did not, however, enjoy constant victory. At times I gave way to ill-temper or selfish motives. My conscience being tender, I often felt instant condemnation after yielding to these things, and then I would pour out my heart in secret prayer for forgiveness and for grace and strength to resist the temptation more successfully the next time. I remember, also, occasions when, upon the approach of temptation, I would steal away to the secret place of prayer and ask for strength to keep me sweet in my soul. I could then go forth to meet my trials with the utmost calmness and serenity, and victory then seemed easy.