“I am extremely sorry for what I said to you the other night,” he said.
“I am glad you are sorry,” said Miss Mapp.
“I offer you my apologies for what I said,” continued Puffin.
The whip whistled.
“When you spoke to me on the occasion to which you refer,” said Miss Mapp, “I saw of course at once that you were not in a condition to speak to anybody. I instantly did you that justice, for I am just to everybody. I paid no more attention to what you said than I should have paid to any tipsy vagabond in the slums. I daresay you hardly remember what you said, so that before I hear your expression of regret, I will remind you of it. You threatened, unless I promised to tell nobody in what a disgusting condition you were, to say that I was tipsy. Elizabeth Mapp tipsy! That was what you said, Captain Puffin.”
Captain Puffin turned extremely red. (“Now the shrimp’s being boiled,” thought Miss Mapp.)
“I can’t do more than apologize,” said he. He did not know whether he was angrier with his ambassador or her.
“Did you say you couldn’t do ‘more,’” said Miss Mapp with an air of great interest. “How curious! I should have thought you couldn’t have done less.”
“Well, what more can I do?” asked he.
“If you think,” said Miss Mapp, “that you hurt me by your conduct that night, you are vastly mistaken. And if you think you can do no more than apologize, I will teach you better. You can make an effort, Captain Puffin, to break with your deplorable habits, to try to get back a little of the self-respect, if you ever had any, which you have lost. You can cease trying, oh, so unsuccessfully, to drag Major Benjy down to your level. That’s what you can do.”