"What always grieved me most, was the deceitfulness of men, not their frank opposition, nor even honest violence. When I was present, nothing adverse would be said; but soon as I was absent, all these things would be heaped on the tender converts. Some, in sarcastic restlessness, said that if the people loved the Lord as well as they did Badger, heaven would be their surest inheritance. Others cried, 'a wolf in sheep's clothing;' but as crossing and mortifying as such things were, they did not move me, for I comprehended their origin, and had counted the cost before I entered the Gospel field. My hands were also upborne by the humble prayers of faithful ones. In defiance of all these things, Zion progressed, children within her gates were born, calls for preaching were continual, and doors of usefulness were daily opening."
"My sister at this time, wife of Capt. P. Cogswell, was dangerously ill, and her thoughts turned upon her everlasting welfare. She conversed with me about dying, wept often when speaking of pure religion, and asked my prayers. She wondered often why I tarried so brief a time with her; but could she have seen my work before me as it was, and known the feelings of my heart, wonder could have had no place in her mind. My eldest brother, who came from Vermont to visit my sister, and another brother from Boston, whom I had not met for two years, who was on his way to Canada, met me at Gilmanton. In parting with them, the most vivid picture of past associations, my parents, youthful mates and sister, whom I had not seen for eight months, came before my mind; and after our separation, a sad and lonely feeling, which words cannot describe, lingered like a cloud upon my way as I contrasted my wandering condition among strangers, and my constant exposure to persecution, with the quiet homes my relatives enjoyed. I said to myself, Here I am, a poor child, wandering about the world among strangers, spending what little property I have, my bodily strength almost worn out in preaching, between two and three hundred miles from home; and whilst I am thus, they are crowned with the honors of this life, and no shaft of sectarian malice is ever hurled at them. In these meditations, though I profusely wept, my spirit gathered up its energies and found solace in the following stanzas:
"But cease, my heart, no more complain,
For Christ has said 'tis his command;
Those who from pleasures here refrain,
'I'm with them till the world shall end.'
"Then shall I say to friends, Farewell!
Whilst they may heap their golden toys,
Christ's beauties to the world I'll tell,
And seek for heaven's substantial joys.
"And when the sun and moon shall fall,
And Nature's beauties each decay,
Christ's merits I will then extol,
When all my tears are wiped away.
"Transporting thought of joy sublime,
This prompts my soul to spread His fame;
Oh, come, my friends, unite in time,
And love the glorious Saviour's name."
"At Alton I preached Sunday, the 12th inst., baptized one young man; on the 17th inst. (Feb.), I baptized two others in the same place. Our meeting, we thought, was glorious, and as we repaired to the bank and beheld the pleasant stream gently pursuing its native channels, the streams of life did sweetly flow to cheer our drooping souls. The 22d, on a pleasant moonlit evening, I baptized another young man, after making a few remarks on the ready submission to this ordinance, as illustrated in the instances of the eunuch and the jailer.
"March the 3d, 6th, 25th, and 27th, were seasons of baptism. I then returned to Alton, found the saints steadfast, again preached, and on April 4, baptized two others. I then returned to Gilmanton, baptized brother John Page,[18] Jr., on the 6th, and Joseph Cogswell on the 16th. The glory of God seemed to shine around us. Then returning to Alton, we again had happy seasons from the refreshing Fountain of Life. Two more were here baptized. Oh, what happy, what blissful seasons my soul has known in these earthly regions!—seasons that cannot be otherwise than had in everlasting remembrance by many. The trials, though great, are past; but the hope of meeting the loved ones in God's holy realms, fills my heart with lively joy."