A Tale of Wanks River.
“On our nineteenth evening from the Cape,” said H., “after a fatiguing day of alternate poling and paddling, we reached Pantasma, the extreme frontier Segovian settlement on the river. As we drew up to the bank, thankful for the prospect of shelter and rest which the village held out, we were surprised to hear the music of drums and pipes, and, for a moment, were under the pleasing impression that the people had, in some way, got information of our approach, and had taken this mode of giving us a welcome. However, we soon saw that the musicians were in attendance on a white man, whose garb had a strange mixture of civilized and savage fashions. He regarded us curiously for a few moments, and then, giving the nearest musicians each a vigorous kick, he ran down to the water, and bestowed upon all of us an equally hearty embrace! Propounding a dozen inquiries in a breath, he announced himself an Englishman ‘in a d—l of a fix,’ whose immediate and overshadowing ambition was, that all hands should go straight to his hut and have something to drink! Our first impression was decidedly that the man was mad; but we were undeceived when we got to his house, which we found profusely supplied with food, and where we were not long in making ourselves thoroughly at home. Perhaps what we drank had something to do with it, but certainly we nearly died with laughter in listening to our host’s recital of his adventures in Central America, and especially of the way in which he had got to Pantasma, and came to have an escort of musicians.
“His name, he said, was Harry F——. He was the son of a London merchant, who was well to do in the world. As usual with sons of such papas, he had gone to school when younger, and entered his father’s establishment when old enough, where, as the probable successor of the principal, he was, in his own estimation at least, an important personage, and, altogether, above work. He nevertheless affected a great liking for the packing department, for the reason that it connected with a vault, in which he had established a smoking-room, where he spent the day in devising plans of amusement for the night, in company with chosen spirits and choice Havanas.
“When he had reached his majority, his father thought it prudent to detach him from his associations, by giving him a little experience in the severities of the world. Having several friends in Belize, he fitted him out with an adventure, costing some twenty-five hundred dollars, and consisting of nearly every useless article that could be found, which, by its glitter and gaud, it was supposed, would attract the easily-dazzled eyes of the people of the tropics. He duly arrived at Belize, full of bright anticipations. One of his cherished schemes was to sell his jewelry in the towns of the interior, at four hundred per cent. profit, and after paying expenses and losses, to return at once to London, with five thousand dollars clear profit! So he went to Guatemala, and spread out his tempting wares. But he met with poor success, and at the end of two years, having gone on from bad to worse, he at last found himself in the Indian town where we discovered him—a Catholic Mission, under a Reverend Padre, who had been educated at Leon, and had passed most of his simple life, being now over threescore and ten, among the simple Indians, whom he governed. When Harry first arrived, he proceeded to the nearest hut, where the usual hospitality of room to hang his hammock was accorded him, while his valise was installed in a corner—said valise containing the remnants of the venture from London, now dwindled down to a very small compass indeed. Of his success in trading, Harry spoke very frankly: ‘The hardest lot of worthless articles I ever saw; some that I could not even give away; and those which I sold, I had to trust to people so poor that they never paid me! So I let one man pick out all he had a mind to, for one thousand dollars in cash; and that paid my expenses in Guatemala, until I got tired of the place, and started off down here.’
“After swinging his hammock in his new quarters, Harry made the tour of the village, and called on the padre, who was delighted to see him, as padres always are, took him to his church, which was as large as a city parlor, and then gave him a good dinner of fish and turtle. Harry had not had so sumptuous a meal for many a day; and when the good father brought forth a joint of bamboo, which held nearly a gallon, and drew from it a supply of tolerable rum, he felt that he had fallen into the hands of a good Samaritan. So long as this hospitality lasted, he sought no change. In the fullness of his gratitude, he made visits to all the huts in the village, and overwhelmed the inmates with presents of articles which he had not been able to give away in other places. In return, they gave him part of a morning’s fishing, or part of a turtle, and thus kept him in provisions. But times changed after a few days; his friend the padre ceased to bring forth the bamboo joint, and at the same time commenced to exhort him to repentance, and to the acceptance of the true church. His host, too, declined to catch any more fish than were consumed by his interesting wife and three naked children.
“Harry smoked long and intensely over the subject. He might make a ‘raise’ on a pair of pantaloons, but then, ‘when that was gone?’ It was the first time in his life that he had been obliged seriously to reflect how he should be able to get his next meal. He tried oranges, bananas, and pineapples, but still he was hungry. As to fishing, he had never caught a fish in his life, and a turtle would be perfectly safe under his feet. His case became desperate. Such cases require desperate remedies, and Harry went to the padre, to consult with him as to the best mode of reaching Leon, distant some two hundred miles, beyond the mountains.
“It was a lucky moment for a visit to the reverend father, since, in return for some hides, sarsaparilla, and balsam, sent by him to his correspondent, the padre at Choluteca, a large town on the Pacific, he had received, among other luxuries, a reënforcement of bamboo joints. These had already added to his good humor, and given to his fat corporation and ruddy face an unusual glow. He gave Harry a warm greeting, and pointing to the broached joint, told him to help himself, which he did without reserve. Harry, in his best, though very bad Spanish, stated his case, and the holy father listened and replied. The next morning our hero awoke, and was rather surprised to find himself yet at the padre’s house, where he had slept in a hammock. An empty bamboo joint was beside him, and he had a glimmering idea of a compact with the padre, through which he was to be extricated from his present uncomfortable position, and reach Leon in a most acceptable manner. But how this was to be done had escaped him; he had only a faint recollection that the padre had insisted upon initiating him into some mystery or other, and that in the fullness of heart he had assented, to the great joy of the priest, who, on the spot had given him a hearty embrace, and commenced learning him how to make the sign of the cross. The worthy padre awoke with rather different sensations, for he felt exalted with the thought that he, a poor priest over a miserable Indian community for forty years, should finally be able to rescue the soul of a heretic from the arch enemy. He was thankful that his eloquence had enabled him to attach an immortal being to the true church—a white one at that, who was of more value than a whole community of savages. It was a miracle, he was satisfied, of his patron saint, Leocadia! So without loss of time he proceeded with the work of redemption. Harry proved an apt disciple; and after making up a lot of cigars from the tobacco-pouch of the padre, the latter proceeded to explain to him what he required in the premises. Harry’s mouth opened, and his cigar fell unheeded to the ground, when the padre announced his intention to administer to him the rite of baptism without delay.
“By the time he had finished his explanation, Harry’s mind was made up; as there were no lookers on whom he cared for, he would let the padre have his way, or, as he afterward expressed it, ‘put him through.’
“For several days the padre and himself worked hard. He went carefully over the various responses and prayers, as they were dictated to him, made the sign of the cross in due form and proper place, and, by the assistance of the bamboo joint, was, on the second day pronounced in a hopeful state, and told that the afternoon following should witness the final act of his salvation. The sun was declining, when Harry, habited in his best, proceeded to the padre’s house. He was rather surprised at meeting so many people, for he had not been consulted in any of the arrangements, and was not aware that every native in the vicinity had been notified of the ceremony in which he was to take so important a part. All had come, men, women, and children, dressed in very scanty, but very clean white cotton garments. They opened a passage for him to enter the padre’s house, whom he found arrayed in his priestly vestments. He was informed that all were about proceeding to his house to escort him to the church, but that, being on the spot, the procession would form at once. Harry submitted without question to the padre’s directions, had a quiet interview with the bamboo joint, and was ready. The procession was headed by four alcaldes, of different villages, each with his official baton, a tall, gold-headed staff. Next came the music, consisting of three performers on rude clarionets, made of long joints of cane, and three performers on drums, each made of a large calabash with a monkey-skin drawn over it. Next came Harry and the worthy padre, and then the people of the village, and the ‘invited guests,’ six deep, and a hundred all told. When our hero took his place in the procession, the padre threw over his shoulders a poncho, six feet long, gaudily decorated with the tails of macaws, bright feathers from strange birds, and strings of small river-shells, which rattled at every step; and thus they started. First they went to Harry’s own hut, and, as they doubled that, and took their route toward the church, he could see the last of the procession leaving the vicinity of the padre’s house. After the manner of their processions on high religious festivals, they came singing and dancing, and altogether appearing very happy. Harry was glad in his heart that no white man was looking on, and had to laugh inwardly at the fuss that was made over him. In due time they arrived at the church, and the usual ceremonies of baptism were gone through with, succeeded by a dance, on the grass, to say nothing of a liberal dispensation from the padre’s bamboo joints. The padre dismissed the assembly very early, and retired, never having had so glorious or so fatiguing a day within his memory, and he was the oldest inhabitant!