“I will,” I said enthusiastically, “I’ll learn it in a month.” (And I did!) “I’ll also learn every other language in the world.”[[54]]
Mazhar Osman smiled again, and said something in Turkish to the gaping crowd of students. Then he examined my reflexes, gave an order to his subordinates, and left the room.
Soon after, I learned what the order had been. Ihsan and Talha came back and announced they were going to take my blood and draw off some of my spinal fluid. I had hoped these tests might be omitted, for they would show beyond doubt that I had no syphilitic infection, and I feared that this might prove the first step in the detection of my simulation. But these men were leaving nothing to chance. They were convinced I had syphilis, and were going to prove it, and they said so. If I wouldn’t admit to having suffered from the disease I must submit to the test.
It was too dangerous to make such an admission, for they might—probably would—carry on with the tests in spite of me, and so prove me a liar. My object was to tell the truth in such a way that they would think it a lie.
“I protest,” I said. “I have never had syphilis.”
“Your blood and your spinal fluid will prove who is right,” Ihsan grinned.
“There’s nothing wrong with either,” I said indignantly. So far I had told the truth. Now was the time to add a lie which they couldn’t possibly detect, and which would puzzle them later on. “Both were tested in England by M——, so I know. I’ll tell you what, though, if you are so certain about it, will you bet?”
“Certainly,” said Talha—I think he hoped to make a little money!—“how much would you like to bet?”
“Oh, say a hundred thousand pounds,” said I.
Talha cut it down to a hundred. I submitted gleefully to the test, and while they drew blood from my arm I babbled away about how sorry they would be when they had to pay up, and how I had won money from M—— in the same way. Then they tackled my spine. I saw an orderly blow down the hollow needle and wipe it on the back of his breeches before handing it over to the doctors, and it nearly gave me a fit. If it had not been for Hill I think I would have given in and confessed, for I dreaded infection. I knew enough about needles to be in mortal terror of a dirty one. I believe I gave a start, or looked frightened, for orderlies pounced upon me and held me down in the required position. The student who was practising his prentice hand on me made two boss shots before he hit the bull. It was altogether beastly.