These accusations and demands so boldly made are not to be disposed of by mere mockery. With deep sorrow we must admit the absolute truth of the charge that too many men clamber out of the abyss of debauchery to a blighted marriage. But the demand for equal moral rights, for the abandonment of the hitherto prevalent bisexual ethical standards, is in vain conflict with actuality, with the defensive instincts of young men, with the difficulties entailed by the struggle for existence, with the increasing pretensions (to sexual freedom) of women themselves; but above all is it in conflict with the thousand-year-old notions of sexual honor in the male and the female respectively, and with the undeniable fact that the mature man is capable of elevating himself out of the base intoxication of the senses characteristic of youth, to attain the noblest and most intimate married love, whereas the girl who has once descended into such an abyss sinks therein and is beyond the possibility of rescue. Thus early marriage with equal purity of husband and wife remains a postulate which the present can hardly be expected to satisfy, and one whose fulfilment must be left to the future.
In consequence of modern writings and discussions concerning the erotic problem, there has arisen a hypersensibility on the part of women in respect of the conditions in which they pass their married life, leading them to demand greater independence, a greater expansion of their own individuality; this tendency must, however, be resisted, if the marriage is to be a happy one, with mutual comfort and reciprocal consideration, one suitable, not for exceptional beings in an ideal state, but for men and women as they really are. In such a marriage, affection and a sense of duty will strengthen love and preserve fidelity. A prudent, clever woman will always understand how, notwithstanding all necessary self-surrender, to preserve the freedom of her own individuality and the esteem of her husband.
Marriages based upon true inclination usually result in the birth of stronger and more beautiful children than marriages in which the money-bags were the sole or the principal determining cause. In England, where people commonly marry when still quite young, beautiful and healthy children are more often seen than in France, where marriages of expediency form the great majority. According to Bertillon, of 1,000 young men from 20 to 25 years of age, in England 120 marry, but in France less than half that number, viz., 57 only. And 100 wives between the ages of 15 and 40 give birth annually, in England to 39 children, in France to 26 only, a number less by one-third.
In deciding upon marriage, hereditary influences deserve careful consideration in respect alike of the family of the prospective husband and that of the prospective wife. For it is well established that the law of inheritance relates not only to the peculiarities of external configuration, to the features, the stature, the tint of the skin, but also that children inherit from their parents their mode of bodily development, the functional activity of their organs, the duration of their life, their predisposition to disease, and even their intellectual and moral qualities. As regards hereditary predisposition to disease, the most important are, as is well known, the predisposition to tuberculosis, that to malignant tumors, and that to mental disorders.
Great disparity in the respective ages of prospective husband and wife entail various kinds of unsuitability for marriage. An elderly man who marries a young girl, even if he still possesses a certain amount of virility, is unlikely to procreate healthy and powerful children; and these latter for the most part will be weakly, scrofulous cachectic, endowed with deficient powers of resistance, and often badly equipped from the intellectual standpoint. Similar considerations prevail in respect of marriages in which the husband has been exhausted by earlier sexual excesses, so that he retains no more than remnants of virility, whilst his semen is of doubtful fertilizing power. D. Richard relates that Louis XIV asked his physician why it was that the children he (the king) had by his wife were delicate and deformed, whilst those he had by his mistresses were beautiful and powerful. “Sire,” was the answer, “c’est parce que vous ne donnez à la reine que les rincures.”
Plato maintains that before every marriage the man and the woman should both undergo official examination to determine their fitness or unfitness for the married state, the man being absolutely nude, and the woman stripped to the waist, for the examination. This author goes so far as to regard it as “a form of homicide for a man to embrace a woman when he is incapable of fertilizing her.” How rarely it happens in our day, however, that the physician, the official with the requisite knowledge to fulfil Plato’s requirements, is asked for his opinion regarding the desirability of a contemplated marriage! The only occasion on which this is likely to occur is when a man intending to marry wishes to be assured that he is completely cured from an earlier infection with syphilis, and, therefore, runs no risk of transmitting the disease to his wife or to possible offspring. But it never occurs to the parents of a girl about to marry to ask the physician whether she is physically suitable for marriage.
In deciding on marriage, however, care should before all be taken to determine that the girl has attained complete physical and especially complete sexual development. The age at which woman attains complete sexual maturity is in our climate and race coincident on the average with the twentieth year of life.
For the hygiene of marriage it is necessary that the bride should not be extremely youthful. Notwithstanding the fact that the legal codes of civilized countries nowhere demand for girls a greater age than fifteen years before permitting marriage, this limit is, generally speaking, fixed far too low. Before becoming a wife, the girl should not merely have attained complete physical development, with her reproductive organs in a state of maturity, but she must also be developed intellectually to such an extent that she is fully capable of understanding the nature and significance of marriage. At the age at which marriage is legally permissible, a girl is still far from having attained physical and mental ripeness for marriage, reproduction, and maternity.
Especially with reference to the last consideration is it inadvisable that in our climates a girl should marry earlier than from 18 to 20 years of age, and preferably even she should first attain the age of from 20 to 22. In that case her happiness as a mother will be more secure, and there will be a greater probability of her producing a healthy progeny. In the East, indeed, quite different views prevail. According to the laws of Manus, a girl might marry on attaining the age of eight years; if within three years thereafter her father failed to provide her with a husband, she might choose one for herself. Among the Hindus it is regarded as a disgrace to the parents if a girl does not marry quite young, indeed before the first appearance of menstruation. Atri and Kasypa state that if a girl begins to menstruate before she leaves her father’s house, the latter must be punished as if he had destroyed a fœtus, while the daughter herself loses caste. Marriage delayed till after the appearance of menstruation being regarded as sinful, girls are married while still children, in order to prevent the loss of mature ova, which is regarded as equivalent to infanticide. Very early marriage has thus in India been legally ordained for thousands of years. The Hindus, who even now regard every menstruation which has not been preceded by coitus in the light of infanticide, marry their daughters before the age of puberty.
According to oriental tradition, Mahomet married Khadijah when five years of age, and cohabited with her three years later. In the Bible, numerous similar examples are recorded. Among many savage tribes, as, for instance, among some of the aborigines of India, and among the indigens of Australia, copulation is usually effected before girls reach the age of puberty; in India, indeed, according to Ploss and Bartels (Das Weib in der Natur und Völkerkunde), marriage with immature girls is a widely diffused custom, and in Australia a child of ten or eleven is often found to be the wife of a man of fifty or the concubine of a sailor. In general, according to these authors, we find that the age of nubility in girls is lower in proportion to the lowness of the stage of civilization attained by the race or people to which they belong. Among the ancient Romans, girls were commonly married between the ages of thirteen and sixteen years.