[CHAPTER XXVI]
Nicknames
The nicknames that are given in the Army show what keen observers soldiers are. The German howitzer shells are eight to nine inches in calibre, and on impact they send up columns of greasy black smoke. On account of this they are irreverently dubbed "Coal-boxes," "Black Marias," or "Jack Johnsons" by our soldiers.
Guns were christened "Black Peter," "Stammering Sam," "Jimmy," "The Warbler," "Weeping Willie."
The German machine gun is called "The Carpenter," "The Gramophone," "The Alarm Clock," "Lightning."
All shells are "Souvenirs." Some are called "Will-o'-the-Wisps" and "Humming Birds." Some "Sighing Sarahs," some "Porridge Pots." "Woolly Marias" are shells that burst in double puffs of white woolly smoke.
"Baby" and "Mother" are far-reaching guns of ours. The latter is so called because it takes good care of our infantry. Another gun has the name of "The Hot Cross Bun" because it is hot, snorts as if always cross, and takes the bun by its ability to hit what it is fired at nearly every time.
Bullets are called "Haricot Beans."
This is from a soldier's letter: "A chap in our company has got a ripping cure for neuralgia, but he isn't going to take out a patent, because it's too risky, and might kill the patient. He was lying in the trenches the other day nearly mad with pain in his face, when a German shell burst close by. He wasn't hit, but the explosion knocked him senseless for a bit. 'Me neuralgia's gone,' says he, when he came round. 'And so's six of your mates,' says we. 'Oh, cricky,' says he. His name's Palmer, and that's why we call the German shells now 'Palmer's Neuralgia Cure.' I am writing this under fire. Every now and again a little message from the Kaiser comes whizzing in this direction, but no damage is being done, and we don't worry. Bang! Another message."
Our soldiers called the German General Von Kluck "Old One O'Clock," partly because of his name and partly because his troops nearly always attacked at that time of the night.