The Elizabethan Stage, Vol. 4

by E. K. Chambers

To the Reader. ‘Roscius pleades in the Senate house; Asses play vpon harpes; the Stage is brought into the Church; and vices make plaies of Churche matters.... These Iigges and Rimes, haue nipt the father [Martin] in the head & kild him cleane, seeing that hee is ouertaken in his owne foolerie. And this hath made the yong youthes his sonnes, to chafe and fret aboue measure, especiallie with the Plaiers, (their betters in all respects, both in wit, and honestie) whom sauing their liueries (for indeede they are hir Maiesties men, and these not so much as hir good subiects) they call Rogues, for playing their enterludes, and Asses for trauelling all daie for a pennie [in margin, Martin the vice condemneth the Plaiers, Eigulus, sigulum].... A true report of the death and buriall of Martin Marprelate. ... Martin ... being ... sundrie waies verie curstlie handled; as ... wormd and launced, that he tooke verie grieuouslie, to be made a May-game vpon the Stage [in margin, The Theater] ... as he saw that ... euerie stage Plaier made a iest of him ... fell into a feauer.... Martin, ... calling his sonnes ... said ... I perceiue that euerie stage plaier, if he play the foole but two houres together, hath somewhat for his labour: and I ... nothing.... [The common people are] now wearie of our state mirth, that for a penie, may haue farre better by oddes at the Theater and Curtaine, and any blind playing house euerie day.... In lept I ... with ... twittle tattles; that indeede I had learned in Alehouses, and at the Theater of Lanam and his fellowes.* ... These gambols (my sonnes) are implements for the Stage, and beseeme Iesters, and Plaiers, but are not fit for Church plotters.... Afterwards ensued his bequestes, in manner and forme following ... Item, all my foolerie I bequeath to my good friend Lanam; and his consort, of whom I first had it.’

(f)

[From A Countercuffe giuen to Martin Iunior: ... by Pasquill of England (Aug. 1589), in McKerrow, Nashe, i. 59 (Anti-Martinist).]

The Anotamie latelie taken of him, the blood and the humors that were taken from him, by launcing and worming him at London vpon the common Stage ... are euident tokens, that beeing thorow soust in so many showres, hee had no other refuge but to runne into a hole, and die as he liued, belching.

(g)

[From The Protestatyon of Martin Marprelat (1589, before 20 Oct.), 25 (Martinist).]

Then among al the rimers and stage plaiers, which my Ll. of the cleargy had suborned against me I remember Mar-Martin, Iohn a Cant. his hobbie-horse, was to his reproche, newly put out of the Morris, take it how he will; with a flat discharge for euer shaking his shins about a May-pole againe while he liued.

(h)

[From The Returne of the renowned Caualiero Pasquill of England (c. 20 Oct. 1589) in McKerrow, Nashe, i. 82, 92, 100 (Anti-Martinist).]

Howe whorishlie Scriptures are alleaged by them, I will discouer (by Gods helpe) in another new worke which I haue in hand, and intituled it, The May-game of Martinisme. Verie defflie set out, with Pompes, Pagents, Motions, Maskes, Scutchions, Emblems, Impreases, strange trickes, and deuises, betweene the Ape and the Owle, the like was neuer yet seene in Paris-garden. Penry the welchman is the foregallant of the Morrice, with the treble belles, shot through the wit with a Woodcocks bill: I woulde not for the fayrest horne-beast in all his Countrey, that the Church of England were a cup of Metheglin, and came in his way when he is ouer-heated; euery Bishopricke woulde prooue but a draught, when the Mazer is at his nose. Martin himselfe is the Mayd-marian, trimlie drest vppe in a cast Gowne, and a Kercher of Dame Lawsons, his face handsomlie muffled with a Diaper-napkin to couer his beard, and a great Nosegay in his hande, of the principalest flowers I could gather out of all hys works. Wiggenton daunces round about him in a Cotten-coate, to court him with a Leatherne pudding, and a woodden Ladle. Paget marshalleth the way, with a couple of great clubbes, one in his foote, another in his head, & he cryes to the people with a loude voice, Beware of the Man whom God hath markt. I can not yet find any so fitte to come lagging behind, with a budget on his necke, to gather the deuotion of the lookers on, as the stocke-keeper of the Bridewel-house of Canterburie; he must carrie the purse, to defray their charges, and then hee may be sure to serue himselfe.... Methought Vetus Comœdia beganne to pricke him at London in the right vaine, when shee brought foorth Diuinitie wyth a scratcht face, holding of her hart as if she were sicke, because Martin would haue forced her, but myssing of his purpose, he left the print of his nayles vppon her cheekes, and poysoned her with a vomit which he ministred vnto her, to make her cast vppe her dignities and promotions.... Who commeth yonder Marforius, can you tell me? Marforius. By her gate and her Garland I knowe her well, it is Vetus Comœdia. She hath been so long in the Country, that she is somewhat altred: this is she that called in a counsell of Phisitians about Martin, and found by the sharpnes of his humour, when they had opened the vaine that feedes his head, that hee would spit out his lunges within one yeere.... Pasquil. I haue a tale to tell her in her eare, of the slye practise that was vsed in restraining of her.