She was too unsure of the orthodoxy of her own beliefs to have made out of religion an instrument for the chastisement of Cecil’s spirit, and when he had informed her that Miss Wade said all story-tellers went to hell, she had heatedly replied: “Bosh! don’t think about hell. Think about heaven instead.”
Lady Aviolet, she knew, had suggested once or twice to Cecil, with characteristic reticence of expression, that his besetting sin should be made the subject of nightly intercession in his prayers. But Rose herself, and, she felt certain, Cecil with her, had looked upon the mechanical petitions, “Help me always to speak the truth, for Christ’s sake, Amen,” as the merest shelving of responsibility. Religious susceptibilities were no more apparent in Cecil than in herself, and Rose instinctively mistrusted resolutions rooted rather in a supine faith in Divine omnipotence than in a personal will to achieve.
A sense of utter frustration assailed her after the expenditure of nervous energy that she had flung into her “scene” on the previous evening. It had been of no use. The old people had not understood; their stupidity was as impenetrable as their good breeding. Ford, who might have interpreted her ill-chosen words to them, had chosen, malignantly, to play a little comedy of obtuseness that was never meant to deceive Rose, but only to make her angrier and more incoherent.
Thinking it all over, the tears burned in her eyes and she clenched her teeth. It seemed incredible to her that so much vehemence should have proved so completely impotent.
The conviction of defeat was ready to invade her, but her indomitable sense of the issue at stake refused to let her be overwhelmed.
“He shan’t go—he shan’t go——” she repeated to herself, half sobbing. “I know he isn’t fit for school.”
She slowly prepared to put in action a plan that she had evolved in the course of a sleepless hour of the night.
She wrote a letter.
This was to Rose a laborious undertaking at all times, since she disliked letter-writing and had had very little occasion to practise it. Her handwriting, that had an inappropriate appearance on the stamped blue notepaper of Squires, was large and painstaking, and very legible.
My dear Uncle Alfred,