Mr. Failing removed his hand. He was displeased.
“But something here,” said Robert incoherently. “This here.” He struck himself heavily on the heart. “This here, doing something so unusual, makes it not matter what she loses—I—” After a silence he asked, “Have I quite followed you, sir, in that business of the brotherhood of man?”
“How do you mean?”
“I thought love was to bring it about.”
“Love of another man’s wife? Sensual love? You have understood nothing—nothing.” Then he was ashamed, and cried, “I understand nothing myself.” For he remembered that sensual and spiritual are not easy words to use; that there are, perhaps, not two Aphrodites, but one Aphrodite with a Janus face. “I only understand that you must try to forget her.”
“I will not try.”
“Promise me just this, then—not to do anything crooked.”
“I’m straight. No boasting, but I couldn’t do a crooked thing—No, not if I tried.”
And so appallingly straight was he in after years, that Mr. Failing wished that he had phrased the promise differently.
Robert simply waited. He told himself that it was hopeless; but something deeper than himself declared that there was hope. He gave up drink, and kept himself in all ways clean, for he wanted to be worthy of her when the time came. Women seemed fond of him, and caused him to reflect with pleasure, “They do run after me. There must be something in me. Good. I’d be done for if there wasn’t.” For six years he turned up the earth of Wiltshire, and read books for the sake of his mind, and talked to gentlemen for the sake of their patois, and each year he rode to Cadover to take off his hat to Mrs. Elliot, and, perhaps, to speak to her about the crops. Mr. Failing was generally present, and it struck neither man that those dull little visits were so many words out of which a lonely woman might build sentences. Then Robert went to London on business. He chanced to see Mr. Elliot with a strange lady. The time had come.