| Work. | Author. | |
|---|---|---|
| Ans: | Short Way with Dissenters. | Trolloph. |
| Tale of a Tub. | William Wordsworth. | |
| Rape of the Lock. | Adam Beade. | |
| Campaign. | Mrs. Browning. | |
| Rights of Man. | Jessie Fothergill. | |
The really funny thing about that list is that it is absolutely genuine, and the work of one candidate. And I defy any one to make a better list, trying to be wrong.
This life of Wordsworth is nearly as good:
William Wordsworth was born in Hampshire of poor humble but God fearing parents. They had a very large family and sometimes hardly knew how to make ends meet. They were educated at any ordinary every day school but William had always a taste for poetry and thought he should like to become a poet, and in order to have their son’s wish gratified his parents denied themselves so that he might have books to study and to try to send him to some college. He was a very studious youth and made a very good scholar. He worked very hard at Oxford to try and repay his parents who had now become old for their self-denial on his behalf. He helped them with his purse. He wrote several very simple, and interesting poems and they soon became known. In this way he obtained a very nice livehood. He was a very dutiful son, hard work and painstaking. At school he was liked by his fellow companions for whom he had always a joke ready at hand. Some of his poems are now used in our Elementary schools such as “We are seven.” He was born in the year 1626 and died in 1785 aged 59 years.
(Note: According to the Nat. Biography he was son of an attorney; was born in Cumberland, educated at the Grammar School at Hawkeshead, and at St. John’s, Cambridge. (1780-1850.) But it is agreed that he wrote “We are seven.” The candidate’s subtraction is weak.)
About 1902 some theorist discovered that our pupil teachers were lamentably weak in knowledge of common things, and he persuaded the Board to add a paper on “General Information” to the already heavy list. I at once applied for the office of reviser, on the twofold ground that it would be easy to coach up the answers, and that the wrong answers would be amusing. I soon found that from my point of view the merits of the paper were over-rated; and as the Board found the same thing from their point of view, the paper was dropped. But it provided me with a few gems:
The examiner began with some well-known buildings and places: “Where and what are the following?”
The Forth Bridge.
The Phœnix Park.
The Coliseum.
&c., &c.
A. (1) The Fourth Bridge is so called because it is the last of 4 bridges.
(2) The Forth Bridge is in Venice where the suspects were led by the Counsel of three, and were never heard of afterwards.