“It’s me,” she exclaimed passionately. “I’m a beast. I ain’t fit to be your wife, Enoch. Let me go my way. I’ll never interfere with you. You’ve been too good to me already. You can’t care for me! Why should you?”
He took her hand in his.
“Milly,” he said, “we are husband and wife, and we’ve got to make the best of it. Now I want you to promise to give up that stuff, and, in return, I will do anything you ask.”
“Then care for me a little,” she cried; “or if you can’t, pretend to. If you’d only kiss me now and then without me asking, act as though I were flesh and blood—treat me as a woman instead of a ghost—I’d be easily satisfied! Can’t you pretend just a little, Enoch? Maybe you won’t mean it a bit—I don’t care. I’d close my eyes and think it was all real.”
Her voice broke down, her eyes were wet and shining with tears. He kissed her on the lips.
“I will do more than pretend, Milly,” he said.
She came close to him—almost shyly. A look of ineffable content shone in her face.
Ever the same deep stillness, a sort of brooding calm as though the land slept, the faint rustling of a west wind, the slighter murmuring of insects. And, save for these things, silence. Strone stood on the threshold of the empty cottage, which as yet he had not unlocked, looking down upon the familiar patchwork of fields and woods, looking away, indeed, through the blue filmy light with unseeing eyes, for a whole flood of old memories were tugging at his heartstrings. A curious sense of detachment from himself and his surroundings possessed him. Milly, his house at Gascester, his shattered political career, were like dreams, something chimerical, burdens which had fallen away. A rare sense of freedom was upon him. He took long breaths of the clear, bracing air. The place had its old delight for him. He threw himself upon the turf, and closed his eyes. Here at last was peace.
Then the old madness again, burning in his brain, hot in his blood, driving him across the hills, stirring up again the old recklessness, the old wild delight. She was going to marry Lord Sydenham. She was passing forever out of his reach, and once she had been very near. His heart shook with passionate recollections. With every step he took, his fierce unrest became a more ungovernable thing. What a farce it all was—his stern attempt at self-control, his life shut off now from everything worth having, a commonplace, dronelike existence. After all, what folly! The cup of life had been offered to him, his lips had touched the brim. Was it poison, after all, which he had seen among the dregs? Yet what poison could be worse than this?