“It is true,” she said.
She covered her face with her hands and there was a long silence between us. The clock in the room seemed suddenly to commence a louder ticking; outside, the yellow leaves came fluttering to the ground, and the wet wind went sighing through the tree tops. The rain dashed against the steaming window panes. I looked away from the bowed figure before me out into the desolate road, and found my thoughts suddenly slipping away from me. I wondered where Bruce Deville was, and Olive Berdenstein. Were they together and was she succeeding in her purpose? After all what did it matter to me, a poor, nameless girl, with a shadowed past and a blank future? I sighed, and looked back into the room. The sound of her voice broke the silence, which was becoming unbearable.
“I do not wish to excuse myself,” she said, softly; “nothing can excuse me. But in those days, when I was young and enthusiastic, it seemed to me that I had but to lead and the world would follow me. I thought that by the time my children were grown up—if I had children—what is called illegitimacy would be no longer a thing to fear. You see I dwelt for a little time in a fool’s elysium. Believe me that I am sharing with you the punishment—nay, mine is the greater half, for I believe that my heart is broken.”
I was moved to pity then and took her hands. But as yet the veil hung between us.
“I will believe that,” I said, softly; “I shall try always to remember it. I will not think hardly of you in any way. The rest must come gradually I think—no, I am sure that it will come some day.”
Her eyes were soft with gratitude. She held out her hands to me, and I gave her mine freely. We spoke no more upon that subject. But perhaps what I went on to say was almost as interesting to her. I had been thinking of it for some time, now it became inevitable.
“I had a purpose in coming to see you this afternoon,” I said. “I want to talk to you about it. Do you mind?”
She shook her head. I continued almost immediately.
“I have come to ask for your advice,” I said. “I want presently, when this trouble has passed over and Olive Berdenstein has gone away, to leave home, to take up some work of my own. In short, I want to be independent, to take my life into my own hands and shape it myself.”