"Yes, darling; why didn't you tell me so sooner? Of course I will stay with you if you wish it."
"If that is your only reason, I am sure I don't want you," I pouted.
He looked puzzled.
"I really don't know what to do," he said, with a most comical look of perplexity. But he went to his office, and brought up a pile of fusty old books.
"Now, dear," he said, "we understand each other I think. I can read here just as well as down stairs. Get your book and we shall be as cosy as possible."
My heart felt sore and dissatisfied. Am I unreasonable and childish? What is married life? An occasional meeting, a kiss here and a caress there? or is it the sacred union of the twain who 'walk together side by side, knowing each other's joys and sorrows, and going Heavenward hand in hand?
FEB. 17.-Mrs. Embury has been here to-day. I longed to compare notes with her, and find out whether it really is my fault that I am not quite happy. But I could not bear to open my heart to her on so sacred a subject. We had some general conversation, however, which did me good for the time, at least.
She said she thought one of the first lessons a wife should learn is self-forgetfulness. I wondered if she had seen anything in me to call forth this remark. We meet pretty often; partly because our husbands are such good friends, partly because she is as fond of music as I am, and we like to sing and play together, and I never see her that she does not do or say something elevating; something that strengthens my own best purposes and desires. But she knows nothing of my conflict and dismay, and never will. Her gentle nature responds at once to holy influences. I feel truly grateful to her for loving me, for she really does love me, and yet she must see my faults.
I should like to know if there is any reason on earth why a woman should learn self-forgetfulness that does not apply to a man?
FEB. 18.-Uncle says he has no doubt he owes his life to Ernest, who, in the face of opposition to other physicians, insisted on his giving up his business and going off to Europe at just the right moment. For his partner, whose symptoms were very like his own, has been stricken down with paralysis, and will not recover.