Forgotten Tales of Long Ago

by E. V. Lucas

'Actually seasoned with sardines; not a page legible, I fear. And there's the "Cook's Oracle," dumb as a fish, drowned in claret, and a new edition of "Ude" soaked, I'm aware, in one of his own delicious consommés. This is sad work, indeed! And the glaze?'

'Smashed, monsieur.'

'Oh, ruin upon ruin! Best portable soup in the kingdom! Only three men in England can make it. However, Melange is one of the three. The edible nests[B] and the Strasburg livers?'

'Quite safe, sir.'

'The potted char, and the Scotch laver? The limes, and the olives, and the dravolinas?'

'Tout est à merveille, monsieur.'

'Then how have my medicines fared?'

'They were put in the boot with the ginger, the parmesan, the Westphalia hams, and the reindeer tongues,' said Melange.

'Now then, come down and see if the colchicum sherry, l'eau médicinale, gout mixture, cogniac, vespetro, noyau, and old Jamaica are safe.'

Melange examined, and reported, 'Perfectly safe, sir.'